To My Dearest Honey
by Karina Kineshi
Summary: An indepth account of what happened during the three days Asuka and Shinji had to synchronize.
1. Prelude/Chapter One

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not yet.

I'm going to say right now, this is going to be a Shinji/Asuka fic written from Asuka's POV. I like this coupling very much because the chemistry is so obvious it smacking you upside the head.

While I'm new to the Evangelion fandom, I am not new to writing. I've dabbled in Rurouni Kenshin and a tiny bit of YST before this. But that doesn't mean I'm perfect. Please give me constructive criticism. The Evangelion section of ff.net is reputed to have very honest critics, and I want to put that to the test. I'm tired of inane reviews that say in previous fandoms that say "Writ mre ongai!!!!!!" Am I the only one who thinks these are pointless?

Special thanks to **Blue Taboo** for pre reading my chapters. I'm a stubborn writer when it comes to listening to my prereader, but she put up with my shyte =) "Evangelion phangrrls unite!" 

*bows* Without further ado... 

*********

**Prelude**

"Actually, this was Kaji's idea." 

"Kaji's?" Captain Katsuragi Misato eyed the disk warily. One part of her said that the man was not to be trusted, but the other part was worrying about her job. Misato hated to admit it, but for once, she had no plan. 

Besides... maybe it would humor her. Maybe serve as a healthy distraction from the load of rubbish on the desktop. 

Misato traced the outline of the stamped heart nostalgically before shoving it into the disk drive. Long silences with only the clicking of the keyboard did bad things to buried emotions. "Now, let's see what we have here." 

The cursor flashed on the screen of the Microsoft WordPerfect document. Misato smiled, Kaji was always the type to go with ancient programs like this. Even the disk itself was outdated. Odd, considering he was always with the current computer trend in college. 

"To my dearest honey," she read. "Here is the brilliant idea that you need." Misato snorted. "Always the smooth talker." She kept reading. 

_I know that you have a little faith in me if you got this disk. At least give me that much credit. _

She briefly contemplated closing the program, but decided against it. Despite exterior shows, Kaji was actually a very capable man. At least a possible bad idea was better than what she had, which was nothing. "Fine, I'll go along with this, but it better be good." 

_You and I both know that we have more than one problem on our hands with the arrival of the Second Child. Things have been complicated more with the seventh Angel's seeming __indestructibility__, _

Misato quirked an eyebrow. That sounded like he was using a thesaurus. So unlike Kaji. "I guess we've both changed... right?" It amazed her how he could turn from flirtatious to business-like in half the time it took to blink an eye. 

_but I have a plan to take care of two things at the same time. As you know, Asuka is quite adamant about staying with me for the duration of her station here. _

She nearly laughed at this one. Misato had quite a time trying to convince Asuka that Evangelion pilots can either live alone or live with an authorized NERV personnel. Asuka shot back that Kaji was just as authorized as any personnel. He was working in the Special Investigations Unit, and therefore made a suitable guardian. That had Misato at a loss of words. She was right. 

_I don't think Asuka will be very happy staying with me here, and I don't wish for her to be unhappy. _

"Hah!" Misato really did laugh at her screen this time. "You just don't want her staying with you, and trying to make it _look_ like she won't be happy. The only person you're concerned about here is yourself!" She grinned again before it slowly dropped from her face. "You're always quite the martyr. Always have been." 

Now she was starting to wonder about Israfel, the seventh Angel. This didn't sound like an operation to save her job, it sounded like a rant of injustice against the world. 

_We can kill two birds with one stone. Or, we can kill two half Angels with one mind. _

That caught her attention. Where was he getting at? And what in the world did this have to do with Asuka's place to stay? 

_I propose that... _

Misato's eyes widened. 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

Just getting back from my first synch test in this strange country, I came to one conclusion. Japanese certainly were weird. Of course, I had the highest synch ratio, but I was steadily getting more and more worried. Whereas my points could only increase by a small percentage, Shinji's seemed to be growing rapidly. It was clear in the face of the blonde haired woman looking at the percentages. It would still be a while until he could catch up with me though, but I was still scared.

_ It's best not to think about such things now. _

The blue haired pilot, they said Ayanami Rei was her name, had already showered and left. I glared disdainfully at the curtain that separated the men's from the women's locker rooms. I could see Shinji's outline on the other side, drying himself off. Those NERV provided towels had to have been washed with no fabric softener with all the abrasions on my skin...

"Shinji!" I yelled. "Are you still over there, idiot?" I could hear a wooden bench being dragged across the ground from the other side. Why, I didn't know. "Hey Shinji!"

A shadow came over the curtain. "Yes? What is it, Asuka?"

I smiled maliciously. I quickly learned that he was a perfect whetstone to sharpen my insults and snide remarks on. He was dull and didn't fight back. "You broke your highest synch ratio when you were with me. Does that prove anything?"

Shinji tried to come up with a response, but he just ended up stammering. "I... I d-don't know..."

"Are you stupid?" I sat down and put my socks on. The smugness never left my voice. "It's because you were with the best."

The shadow disappeared from the curtain, and I thought he left. I heard a meek, "Yeah, I guess so."

Ikari Shinji, the Third Child. Just what was the deal with that boy anyway? I'd never met someone so spineless before. From the moment I first laid eyes on him, he exuded a sickening humble attitude that disgusted me. One can't be humble to get anywhere in life.

Looks like he hadn't learned that yet. He _has_ no life.

"I'm going home now, Asuka."

I snorted. Living with that woman wasn't exactly what I would call a home. From what Kaji tells me, the woman practically bathes in alcohol. I always thought it was a disgusting habit. The first time a college boy offered me a beer, I took a whiff of it and almost threw up. How can anyone get that liquid down their throat? Even in Germany, I didn't really like drinking. I had better things to do that get drunk off my ass. "Fine. Leave."

He only shoved his duffel bag onto his shoulder. "Do you want me to stay?"

"What? Are you waiting for me to come out naked?" Another wonderful opportunity. How I loved watching men succumb to my charm.

Shinji stammered again. "N-No! It's j-just that you sounded l-like—"

I sounded like what?

"I don't want you to stay and get a glimpse of my beautiful body! You... you pervert!" I screamed and threw my shoe at the curtain. Unfortunately, it didn't hit him; the shoe slid down the curtain and clattered to the ground on the other side. "That should teach you! Go home!"

There was silence on the other side. He probably already left. I sighed, he was lucky that he had a home to go to. Right now, I was indefinitely stationed right here in headquarters. Kaji said that he was making arrangements to find a guardian for me. I asked if he could be my guardian. "Just think of it!" I said. "A guardian to the great Sohryu Asuka Langley!"

He said he'd think about it.

I saw something move on the other side of the curtain. It stooped over and picked up my shoe. Once the familiar beaten tennis shoes came into view, I knew at once who it was. "Kaji!" Involuntarily, I shot to my feet and raced to the curtain. The one shoe I had on slapped against the ground, and I cursed myself for having all my clothes on.

"You're still in there?" He nearly fell backwards when I threw open the curtain and wrapped my arms around his arm. The shoe in his hand fell to the floor. "Asuka!"

I grinned at him. "Of course! I was waiting here for you!" I let go and peered at him expectantly. "Well? What did they say about the guardianship thing? I can't _wait_ to start living with you."

Kaji scratched the back of his head, something he always did when he had to come up with an excuse quickly. My heart fell, they denied it. Why would they deny me the right to live with my Kaji? It's my choice to make, not theirs! I found myself getting angry before he even said anything, but I kept that smile on my face.

He always said the world would be better if pretty women always smiled.

"Ah... actually, Commander Ikari was swamped with work. He said that he'd get to it when he was done."

I narrowed my eyes. "This stupid thing involves the Commander?" I couldn't believe it. Couldn't he get one of his underlings to do this work for him? This was such a petty concern, one that someone under him can easily solve.

Kaji must have read my thoughts, because then he added, "It involves him because the security of one of the most important persons may be at jeopardy."

"The most important person." I corrected. "And the best damn Eva pilot."

He put a hand on my shoulder and smiled that megawatt grin. The one that made me sigh like a teenage schoolgirl. "Right. These decisions shouldn't be taken lightly, you know."

It made perfect sense. I nodded and went back to my things in the women's room. Kaji didn't follow me, but I was hoping he would. Once I stuffed an extra plugsuit into my duffel bag, I turned around and flashed him a victory sign. I was as good as in whenever Commander Ikari gave permission to proceed. "I'll be in your house soon before you know it! Me _and_ all my things!" 

Hey, a girl can't travel light. He gave me an uneasy smile. It was probably because he's seen my things before and knew that they took up a lot of room. "Yeah..."

That was the last thing he said before the rooms were drenched in red light.

*****

I groaned. Wasn't I here ten minutes ago? The red light sent me tearing into my bag and putting on my plugsuit in record time. I beamed with pride when I realized that since I was the only pilot who had not gone home, maybe I would be the only one to tackle it. After all, Wonder Girl and Shinji were useless. I could defeat all the Angels by myself. They certainly must know that.

My first Angel in a foreign country! My debut battle in Japan .

Then my face fell and I glanced at the stationary Evangelion Unit flying beside my own.

"Why do I have to do this with _him_?!" I demanded from the cockpit of 02. "I can do it by myself!"

The blond haired woman came over the commlink. Her mouth pinched into a thin line. She looked very stern. This was the same woman who monitored my first synch test here and one of Misato's friends.

Friend? Misato sure had strange taste in friends. This woman looked like she was perpetually sucking on a lemon.

"Calm down Asuka. We're sending you to launch now. It can't be helped."

I voiced my opinion once again, hoping it would reach the ears of someone else. No one responded, so I gave up. Some people who know me might say that the great Sohryu Asuka Langley never gives up, but then again, no one _knew_ me. Even I know when I'm outclassed.

_ I'm never outclassed. _

Not two seconds later, when I had synchronized with my Eva, I found myself flying over a giant body of water. There was no use arguing with someone like _that_. While I could destroy their Geofront in two strokes, I knew better than disregarding superiors. My disdainful attitude didn't faze them one bit.

Damn.

Misato appeared to brief us on this procedure for this Angel. "Therefore, we're going to intercept the target at the water's edge, just before it makes landfall..."

I was starting to love water more and more. My first epic battle was in the water, so I naturally felt right at home on it. Any place where I could destroy an angel would be home to me.

"... so 01 and 02 will mount a coordinated attack in a series of waves. In other words, close in and take turns."

I don't take turns with anyone! I'll do it myself. I remember giving her a halfhearted "Roger" before complaining again. It was to justify leaving Shinji behind in a couple of minutes. "This sucks. My debut battle and they won't even let me handle it alone."

"It's just S.O.P. procedures, you know."

I didn't expect a reply, so when I got one from Shinji, I was annoyed. The smile on his face was mocking me, saying that I can't handle it alone. I snapped back at him to stay out of my way. He looked appropriately scared and immediately shut the commlink. "His selection as pilot must have been a joke."

I mean, honestly. It's hard to believe that this boy could mercilessly kill Angels. The only time I had ever fought with him he was in my Unit. And... I did all the work on top of that too! How in the world can this guy be even standing in his Eva?

_ What an idiot. _

I plummeted to the ground like a comet and landed hard on the ground. Dirt and debris formed a crater around my feet. Shinji landed beside me a split second later. I picked up a spear and waited for the ground crew to give me my external cable. "Two against one isn't what I call a fair fight. It's not even," I declared.

"Survival takes priority," was Misato's answer. Honor was one of the things NERV in Germany insisted on having. Apparantly, they didn't believe in that here. I found myself wishing to be in Germany again. At least there, they'd let me handle things on my own. At least they had faith in me.

Where was that other pilot? Ayanami Rei? I didn't even see her at the base for backup in case Shinji and I failed. Which of course, I wouldn't, but it was always good to have backup. Even if it was overkill. 

She hadn't said one word to me, and before I could try to talk to her, she had already left. Come to think of it, she didn't even say a word when the blond haired woman told her the synch scores. Not even a little reaction. While I grinned proudly and Shinji drew circles on the ground with his foot, she just stood there. Like a statue.

_Why do they only pick strange people to be Evangelion pilots? And why was I the only one who wasn't strange? _

A roaring column of water that scraped the belly of the sky alerted me out of my thoughts. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the purple Evangelion flinch. So, Shinji was scared? I snorted and pushed the controls forward. Of course he was scared, he had no spine.

"Let me handle this Angel! You just cover my back!" S.O.P procedures be damned. I loved finding loopholes in procedure. Good job NERV, you got two pilots out here handling what is a one pilot job. So I'll handle the job and split half the credit. But everyone will always know that I did it and should get all the glory.

The idiot said that there's no way he'd be my back-up and I stated that ladies should go first. Then I shut off my commlink so he couldn't argue anymore. I hated people who tried to argue with me. He'll learn in time that it is pointless to banter with me. I'll always win.

"Charge!"

I heard a strangled gasp from 01 as I hopped from building to building. The steel beams in those structures snapped like toothpicks under my massive feet. It was a pleasurable feeling, it helped me remember that I alone was in command. 

With a fierce battle cry, I swung the lance over my head and cut the Angel in two. The two sides split open like that of an overripe melon. There was silence. No doubt they were staring at me in awe. I was pretty impressed myself. "What do you think about _that_, Third Child?" He didn't answer. I took in my victory and quoted, "A fight should be clean, elegant, and without waste."

He still didn't say anything. Didn't I say that I would handle it? Maybe now the command center wouldn't waste all their energy and expense.

_Tell the other two pilots they can go home. We have Asuka, and she's all that matters. _

I dreamed briefly of being the only Evangelion pilot when something stirred beside me. I watched in horror as the two split sides became two separate entities. 

"Two angels?" Shinji exclaimed.

I took a couple steps back as Misato's voice echoed in the cockpit. "What the _hell_ is this crap?!"

For once, I was speechless. Germany never told me that Angels can divide in two! I fumbled with my spear and dropped it into the sea from shock. "Shit!"

The two Angels moved as one. The gray one quickly advanced towards me while the red one went for 01. I pounded on the sea as if that would reveal the fallen spear, but it did nothing. I staggered back and tried to get a good footing on land.

"Shinji! Asuka! What are you doing?!"

Somehow, the Angel had snapped Shinji's gun in half and was mimicking the steady proceed of its twin. While I was watching 01, a building got caught in my feet. I fell over and landed on my back. My spine felt like it was on fire.

"Get out of there, now!"

I couldn't obey that order from Dogma. I got the feeling that I was being lifted in the air. I thrashed and kicked violently, but to no avail. The Angel was ready to snap me in two. I made one desperate plea for help. "Shinji! I need—"

I felt the support suddenly disappear from underneath me and I crashed down to land again. Underneath me was Unit 01. "Just what the _hell_ are you doing?" I demanded. 

The Evangelion didn't move. Oddly enough, neither could I. The last thing I remember before landing in a pile of rocks was a single synchronized kick from two Angels.

They were perfectly in unison.

*****

After a disastrous review of our mission and subsequent scolding from the Subcommander, I was seething. That... that boy dared to argue with me! The Third Child left the room, but not before giving me a look that I couldn't read. It wasn't hate, but it wasn't disappointment either.

I don't know how long I stayed in that conference room, dressed in only my plugsuit with a towel draped over my shoulders. I felt like a failure. The first person to blame is always Dogma, but I feel that that shouldn't be the case. Maybe it was my sense of honor, but blame should always be on the pilot first. 

_"You are the best at what you do, and if you can't anticipate these things, maybe you should not pilot, Miss Langley." _

I shook my head and tried to dispel these thoughts. Maybe it was best to keep blame on Dogma. After all, I _was_ the best at what I did. What could I do if I was given false information by the Japanese? It was their fault, not mine.

Kaji left for a little while to God knows where, but I didn't feel like moving. It was odd when I didn't want to follow Kaji. Maybe I thought that my failure would reflect in his eyes. I could wait until this scarred over and then I could talk to him again.

This hurt so much. I failed.

Sure, I had let people down before, but not when it came to piloting my Evangelion. And this marked my first real failure. I felt like shit.

"Are you still in here moping?"

I couldn't even smile for him. "Yeah. Moping over what a stupid person the Third is."

Kaji sat down beside me. "Ouch. You shouldn't be so harsh on him."

Indignant, I crossed my arms. "It's his fault I couldn't do it. He was distracting me the whole time!" I saw the sly look that Kaji gave me. "Not like that!" I snapped. "I was afraid that if I did something, he'd get hurt. So I didn't go all out on that Angel."

The man scratched his chin. "It's all right, Asuka. No one expects you to be perfect on the first try."

I jumped to my feet and angrily pointed at myself. "_I_ expect me to be perfect! How can you say such a thing, Kaji? And this isn't about me, it's about Shinji!"

"Shh... enough Asuka. No more talk of this. Pretty girls shouldn't fume." I quieted myself and sat down dejectedly. "I came back to tell you that they denied my request to have you live with me for the moment." I was back on my feet in an instant, but Kaji's hand was holding my arm. "You'll be living with Misato for the time being..."

*****

And that's how it all started. After Misato dropped the announcement of our "synch training" on us, I think I just stood there dumbfounded. A hard day's work of hauling up my belongings (which Kaji did), and I was rewarded with _this_.

This was just the beginning, and I got a sinking feeling that I was far away from the end. Once I found out that the training couldn't be avoided, I braced myself for the longest four days of my life. I hated beer, but if it could make all this go away as it was purported to, I'd down three whole cans.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: This chapter moved too slowly for my taste, but I need to put in the background before I go on. I don't believe the personality Asuka shows us is her true self, but maybe that's just me. *smiles* Hope to see you the next chapter, and do leave feedback while you're here. 


	2. Chapter Two

********* 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

"Here, put this on right now."

I tried to look as menacing as I could, but one of my age and height against someone of Misato's age and height... I hoped I didn't look the part of a cornered animal, because I sure felt like it. "No! I'm not like Shinji! You can't just order me around like you can with him!"

Shinji stared at me. He was already wearing the ludicrous "synch outfit", a clashing ensemble of black spandex shorts and a loose fitting top that threatened to fall off the shoulders. It was a sad excuse for a woman's blouse. Maybe something she picked up at a thrift store? The black music notes trailing up the front made me think of a marching band gone berserk.

And that spineless jerk didn't even hesitate to put it on! Hell, he hesitated when I gave him my _plugsuit_, which I think has a lot more class than _this_! But no, just a simple nod of the head and a couple of minutes later he was dressed. With no embarrassment evident in his face.

_ There's nothing worse than a housebroken male. _

"Are you going to put this on willingly, or am I going to have Shinji put it on you _for_ you?"

I recoiled and gave her the most hateful look I could muster. Shinji even got to his feet and was glaring at her. "N-Now Misato, you can't mean such things!" I snapped my attention to him and noticed that a bright red flush was staining his cheeks and nose. When he saw the look on my face, he shrank back. I knew he was a pervert. I knew it.

"So what's it going to be, Asuka?"

"You know, this has to be some form of child abuse," I insisted. "Wait until everyone at the headquarters hears about this. You'll be demoted for sure."

Misato had a confident smile on her face. "It was approved by Commander Ikari himself."

"Father did?" Shinji stepped beside me, and I could feel his arm brush against mine. I yanked my arm away and shoved him farther away from me. No one touches me.

"Yes. Just give it up Asuka. You'll make these next four days unbearable if you act like this."

_ If I was going down, I was taking everyone with me. _

I glanced at the clock. We had been arguing for almost half an hour on this subject alone. In total, Misato took what seemed like hours to tell us of the plan. The time was now 2:27. In the morning.

_Why aren't you getting tired, damn you? _

I thought I could wear her down. I thought she'd be finished with my mouth after the first hour. Apparently, she could go on for longer than I could. I was wearing myself down. I growled and snatched the outfit out of Misato's outstretched hand. She was smirking in triumph. I said, "I'll be damned if that pervert gets within an inch of touching me. I'll put this on myself, thank you."

Said pervert let out a huge sigh. He was probably thinking the same thing I was. Time to go to sleep. Shinji shuffled off to his room and closed the door. Misato strolled over and flung the door wide open. He hadn't even gotten to his bed and was standing with his back to the door. "No, it has to stay open."

"But it doesn't start until tomorrow!" Shinji took a step forward. "I can keep it closed until I wake up tomorrow."

_Well, he has a little bit of a spine. But not much. _

"Ah..." Misato tapped a finger to her forehead. "But I'm leaving you two to yourselves now. And... tomorrow was yesterday. It's tomorrow right now."

Shinji blinked, and I felt like knocking myself out. According to the plan, Misato would only come to this apartment during our "twister test". NERV rented the apartment next door and Misato would always be there. "Well then, I'll leave you two to yourselves." She flashed me a thumbs up and slid the door to the hallway open. "Don't do anything I wouldn't approve of during the night, okay?"

I scowled at her. "In _his_ dreams."

"Tomorrow then. Bright and early at 7:00 ."

"Fine."

"Don't forget, cameras are installed all over this place. I'll know when you aren't following my commands."

When the door clicked shut, it dawned on me. This was _true_ isolation. Somehow she had managed to bolt the door so it couldn't be opened from the inside. She was a harsh taskmaster and had anticipated all my moves. No going anywhere inside without the other, no going outside period. We were connected at the hip, everywhere. She even suggested to harbor a feeling of togetherness that we take baths together.

Shinji's eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. 

No way.

She suggested that we didn't have to be in the _shower_ together, we just had to be present in the bathroom when the other way taking a shower.

Not good enough, Misato.

Then as her final statement on baths, she said the door must be open to the bathroom and the person standing outside. I reluctantly agreed to this. I had gained so much ground that I didn't want to risk losing it.

"So what do we do now?" I asked rhetorically.

Shinji stood in the doorway with his arms crossed. "You put on that... that _thing_, and then we go to sleep." We stood there and looked at each other for a moment. I don't think we both believed the situation we were in. I felt so lost.

"Stop staring at me like that, it makes me uncomfortable." He averted his eyes to the ground and headed towards his bed. Though I would never admit it aloud, I was partially saying that to myself.

The lights clicked off by some unseen force until only the bathroom's was on.

"Hey, where am I supposed to sleep?"

A muffled voice from the other room answered me. "Misato didn't say. But I'm guessing in my room."

I laughed at him. "Yeah right, you just can't wait to have me sleeping beside you."

"I have a blanket in here." 

He seemed unaffected by my flirtatious remark. In fact, he just seemed tired. This angered me for some unexplained reason. I think it was because I knew that no man had ever resisted my charm. Except maybe Kaji, but I swore he would fall one day. "I don't need your damn sympathy. I'm sleeping on the couch until Misato says otherwise. Got it?"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

*****

My backbone felt a little better since yesterday's escape with the Angel, but I noted that the pain transferred itself to my neck. It was throbbing as if it was hit with a sledgehammer. I wished I had unpacked my pillow before conking out. I woke up on the couch, right fist still clenching that outfit. I stumbled over to the bathroom and felt my arms up and down. I was freezing.

Actually, I had already known that I was freezing myself. I woke up numerous times during the night and rubbed my legs together for a little bit of warmth. I had to tuck my feet into the cushions and use my hair as a makeshift blanket to cover my arms.

_ Now I know why my neck hurts. _

I was mad. Why didn't that idiot put a blanket on me when he knew I was solidifying into a block of ice? I immaturely stomped my foot on the bathroom floor in an effort to keep the black spandex from riding up. Maybe it'll have the added bonus of waking him up from his _warm_ and cuddly sleep. Or maybe the neighbors below us.

There was a knock on the door. "Are you in there, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

"Who else would be in here?" I asked dryly as I shoved the blouse over my head. Did that boy have no sense along with no backbone?

"Are you finished?" I didn't have time to answer to this new voice, because the door whipped open and revealed a too happy Misato and Shinji. She was holding him up by a fistful of fabric, and his hands were over his eyes. "Sleep well?" she asked innocently.

I exploded. I wasn't really mad at Misato, just the fact that she brought someone to watch what could have been a free show. And Sohryu Asuka Langley doesn't give anything for free. "I could have been naked in here! And look, dragging in a _boy_ to watch!"

"But I'm not watching!" He didn't remove his hands from his eyes. I found that amusing. For being so perverted, Ikari Shinji was also virginal.

This calmed me down quite a bit. I must have been staring too long at Shinji because Misato tapped her foot and looked at me haughtily. She didn't have to put into words what she was saying with her eyes.

Katsuragi Misato is a bigger pervert than Ikari Shinji.

God save me.

*****

Breakfast consisted of two eggs over easy, three slices of bacon, and a hash brown. Shinji said he didn't like bacon. Too much grease. I said I hated hash browns. Too little grease. We both had to eat everything on our plate. I drew the line when Misato said we had to feed each other from our chopsticks. "We're not babies!" we declared in unison.

Misato smiled.

After making us wash the dishes together (three of them broke, mainly because I threw them on the ground), Shinji said he had to go to the bathroom. Misato smiled again and made me stand outside the open bathroom door. I stood with my hands over my ears and my eyes screwed shut.

Now, let me get one thing perfectly clear: I'm not uncomfortable with sex. After being in college, I found that it can get you where you want to go. A formfitting top one day can turn the heads of all the guys, even if you are feeling like shit. And my thirteen-year-old head burst with all the compliments from the men. They said I looked beautiful. They said I was so grown-up.

Someone tapped my shoulder. "He's finished. You can stop acting now."

"What?!" I poked Misato on her stomach. "Are you _implying_ that I was watching or hearing any of that?"

"I wasn't _implying_ anything."

Shinji looked embarrassed. This was probably harder for him than it was for me. I suddenly felt myself feeling sorry for the poor boy, but _that_ quickly vanished. He was the cause of all this in the first place. Maybe I could hold it in for four days...

"What do we do now, Misato?"

"Yeah, great almighty leader. What is your all knowing judgment?"

Misato actually seemed to contemplate this and put her fingers underneath her chin. When she didn't say anything, I looked over at Shinji. She was up to no good, I knew it. "Before I leave, I want you two to hold hands."

"What did you say?"

"What the hell!?"

She clapped her hands together. "Just kidding."

"Misato..." I growled. "That's not funny." 

Shinji thought it was a little humorous because a smile crept over his face. Once I glared at him though, that smile shot back down to hell where it came from. Only the Devil himself could find that amusing. "Watch it, Third Child. You're treading on dangerous ground here." I leaned in close to him and found it funny how his face was drenched in flame. "The bathroom door is always open, and I know where the knives are kept."

My purple haired guardian shook her head. "You've only been in the same house nine hours and you're already making threats of dismemberment?"

"M-M-Misato?"

"Hn?"

Shinji gulped. I didn't move from my position inches from his face. "D-Don't leave me here."

"Oh, and why don't you want to be alone with me?" I lowered my voice to a sultry purr. I call it my sexy voice. Once the sexy voice turns on, so do the men. The boy looked ready to faint. I would stop this kind of teasing, but with him it was just too much fun. A part of me vowed that I would teach him how to stand up for himself and have some self-confidence before four days were up.

"I-I—"

I shoved him away in annoyance and he landed in Misato's arms. "Geez stupid, when are you going to grow a spine already?"

He glared at me and pushed away from Misato. "I do have a spine. I'm not the one throwing herself all over me."

"And what's that supposed to mean?!" I noticed that Misato was already in the kitchen, quietly sipping a cup of coffee. How did she get there so quickly? Shinji said nothing. Instead, he put his hands down to his sides and stared at the ground. "Huh? Answer me, Third Child!"

I'll have him know that I wasn't throwing myself all over anyone. Maybe Kaji, but that's because I liked him a lot. He was grown up, and he had a brain. _And_ a spine. That was child's play, that voice I used on him. At least I wasn't feeling him up as I've been known to do to others in the past.

"Let's just drop it, all right?"

It sounded like an apology to me. I huffed and tried to burn a hole in his head with my eyes. "Fine. This'll all be over in four days, let's at least try to keep a bit of sanity."

He raised his eyes from the ground. "Fine."

Yet again, another long staring contest. This time, it was even longer than the first. I snapped at him that if he stared at me, he could make it a little less obvious. In a surprise show of vertebrae, he snapped back that at least he was staring at what was above my shoulders, not between them.

I screamed that he was perverted when he walked out of the room.

For the rest of the day, she worked us like dogs. After the apartment was sparkling form top to bottom, Shinji and I were beat. No matter if it was a one person job like sweeping the floor, Misato always found a way to make it a two person job. For example, while I worked the broom, Shinji would control the dustpan. Or when we did laundry, Shinji would scrub and I would wring the clothes.

But that wasn't the worst of it. When it came time to make lunch, I did the cooking while Shinji brought me the ingredients. We argued for fifteen minutes on what to make for lunch. Finally, we decided to get it delivered. It took fifteen minutes to decide which restaurant to buy food from. When we did decide, I dialed the phone while we both talked in synchronization to the befuddled telephone boy.

"How does this thing work, anyways?" Misato handed me a small black box that looked like a tape cassette player. She gave Shinji one too. The two were connected by a wire about five feet in length. "Do you play tapes in it?"

"It's an SDAT player with a slight modification. You are to wear it all the time unless I tell you otherwise."

Shinji put the headphones on his ears. I did the same. "It doesn't feel any different from my old player."

"Turn on the switch on the left side."

We both did the same, and then I heard a high-pitched ringing in my ears. I flinched. So did Shinji.

"What is this, Misato?" we both asked. We were perfectly in unison. I was so caught off guard that I just stared at Shinji and scratched my head. He was staring back and scratching his head at the same time as well. "Misato!" We exclaimed. "What is this doing to us?!"

I moved my right hand, he moved his left hand. He shook his head to the right, I shook mine to the left. I took a step forward, and so did he. I couldn't believe it; he was mimicking my every move. Well, you couldn't call it mimicking if it was done at exactly the same moment. I couldn't tell who was mimicking who.

Misato explained. "There's a special chip inside that monitors brain waves in... uh... that area of your brain that controls speech and motor movements."

"You mean the cerebrum and temporal lobe?" we both asked. I looked at Shinji, was that his thought or mine?

Misato laughed uneasily. "I wasn't really paying attention when Ritsuko explained it to me, but it monitors the brain waves. Half of what you do and half of what you do merge together so you two will act as one." She must have seen the skeptical look on my face. "Or something like that."

"You mean to tell me you can read my thoughts?" I demanded of Shinji. He asked me the same thing at the same time, only a lot quieter.

Misato stepped in. "No, it can't read thoughts. It only obeys impulses from both of you. Once a happy medium is reached, then you two will act on it."

"How?"

She shrugged. "She said it had something to do with the oscillations on the brain waves. Each movement has its own unique vibration. I'm guessing it travels through the wire and into your ears. The brain picks up on the vibration and acts accordingly."

I took off my headphones. Shinji did the same. This was starting to make sense to me. Was NERV really this advanced to be doing this? And why? What in the world would they have use for something like this? "So, if I willingly punch myself in the stomach, would he punch himself?" I might actually enjoy this.

"I don't know."

Shinji shifted from foot to foot. "When are we supposed to wear this?"

"You wear it when you're not sleeping, taking a shower, or if you don't want to talk to the other person." Misato's eyes went all soft, and I couldn't figure out why. "If you wish to speak to each other and actually hold a conversation, then feel free to take them off. Synchronization stems from understanding the person standing right next to you. Talking to each other is better for harmony than using this chip."

I stuck my tongue out at her and put my headphones on. At least I wouldn't have to talk to him. "This thing can be beaten, I know it."

When Misato left, she told us that she would return near sundown to see if we had synchronized. She told us to practice our twister test and said it didn't have to be perfect, to which I wryly added that it probably wouldn't be. Well, at least I'd be perfect, but Shinji would be another story.

He didn't say anything.

"And remember, I'm watching your every move," she said cryptically. I think we both shuddered. The door clicked yet again, and we found ourselves alone. Another uncomfortable silence. 

"What do we do now?" Sundown wasn't for another hour or so, what in the world could we do in the meantime?

The modified SDAT player clipped onto our spandex shorts and kept it out of our way, except for that cord that ran between us. He put the headphones on his ears and shrugged. "I guess all we can do is practice." I felt insulted. I didn't know whether he was putting those headphones on his ears because we had to or because he didn't want to hear me talk.

"Now don't be reading my thoughts, you pervert."

"I'm not a pervert. Stop calling me such names."

"Whatever." I grudgingly put mine on too and flipped the switch. Suddenly, I saw my mannerisms in his body and felt his in mine. I felt foreign to myself. It was certainly a strange feeling.

The aptly named "twister test" didn't require much thought. From what it looked like, all you had to do was put your hands down on the lighted circle. Misato named it the "twister test" off an old game that she used to play called (surprisingly) Twister. The only reason I had heard of it before was that I played it briefly in America.

When I stepped onto the mat, Shinji did the same on the other side. Once the mat sensed added weight, various circles started blinking. Shinji got to his knees and started pressing the circles. I did the same, but it wasn't anything close to what Shinji was doing. No matter what circles I pressed, it felt like I was doing something wrong.

"What the hell is the matter with this thing?"

Once those words flew out, I knew they had also flown out of Shinji's mouth. He had his hand over his face, as if he couldn't believe the vulgarity.

"Have you got yours turned on?" we asked each other.

"Of course I do!" I nearly screamed it. "I think this stupid thing's broken." 

Shinji didn't say anything.

_ What's going on? _

"Here, let me take a look at it."

My heart must have stopped beating when he walked over to me. I didn't move. I couldn't even think. I saw my hand move towards his SDAT player while his moved for mine. Before I knew it, both our right hands were on each other's waists, fingers flipping the switches up and down.

Yes, I know. It shouldn't have been tense, but it was. Painfully so. I did the only thing I was taught to do in uncomfortable situations and push the offender away.

"Get your hands off me." I said deliberately. I pushed his chest forcefully and he staggered back. The thing _ must_ be broken, because if it really does what it says it does, then he would have pushed me back. Instead, he just looked at me with a mixture of betrayal and confusion on his face.

I didn't know what to say either.

It was at that time the doorbell rang.

We greeted Hikari and other two stooges, in perfect harmony, might I add. I wasn't thinking at all at this point. It was a combination of the degradation, tiredness, and overwhelming circumstance that set me on autopilot. Misato arrived with Ayanami Rei and they all sat down together and watched how far Shinji and I progressed.

Which was nowhere.

I tried to think about what I was doing, I mean, making a really conscious effort to pay attention. But it seemed the more I concentrated, the more mistakes I would make. 100% was the target "twister test" ratio. Right now, I think we were averaging about a 4%. It frustrated me. It _had_ to be my incompetent partner. It couldn't be me doing all this, I was concentrating and thinking the hardest.

I could hear their laughter from behind the acute wail of the headphones. I didn't know if they were laughing at me or at each other. They were probably laughing at Shinji.

_Of course. I never make mistakes. _

I angrily threw my headphones to the ground. "That's it! I can't sink to the level of this... this... animated _turnip_!" I spat. The boy had crashed down onto the mat and was lying face down on the ground. It really did disgust me.

"So, you give up?"

Of course not; Sohryu Asuka Langley never gives up. However, I do like to bask in my glory. Nothing makes me feel happier than knowing that I have a job that no one else can do. "But you have no one else, do you?"

She closed her eyes. "Rei."

"Yes."

"Why don't you give it a try?"

"Yes."

I stood rooted to my spot as the blue haired girl casually walked over and put on new headphones. To my shock (and the shock of everyone else), Shinji and her were in perfect synchronization. Each circle, each beep, matched up exactly.

"Well, maybe I should alter the operation and make a pair of Shinji and Rei."

I didn't know what to say. I tried to ask if she would give me another chance, but that would be groveling. I never grovel. Then I tried saying that it worked before and doesn't work now, but that sounded stupid even in my mind. Then I said that my damn SDATs were broken and Rei's wasn't. I think all that came out was a series of gasps and incoherent sounds.

My inability to speak finally sent me storming out of the room. "I can't stand this anymore!" and I truly meant it. I slammed the door as hard as I could in hopes of breaking it. Unfortunately, it only bounced back harmlessly. I couldn't even get a pleasurable sound, at least a door slam would satiate my rage a little bit.

I hate this. Why did I have to come to Japan? Why couldn't I stay in Germany? The Japanese with their masked emotions made no sense to me. You never knew what they were truly feeling or thinking. I felt like a stranger, even to my own Evangelion. When your Evangelion is your life, you are scared of losing it.

I felt it slowly slipping out of my grasp.

Rei and Shinji would be made a team, and I would be left all alone. Again. Rei took my place.

I think it was at that moment that I decided I didn't like Ayanami Rei.

I must have wandered outside for a half an hour before stepping into a convenience store. What was the point of staying inside the apartment now? The operation was no longer mine.

"Where are the drinks?"

The pimply faced cashier boy pointed towards a row of refrigerators. I trudged over and opened the refrigerator door softly. There was really no point of being angry now, it really didn't get you anywhere. Despite my boisterous outward show, I knew that deep down inside such childish tantrums were often ignored. I don't know what possesses me to act this way, but I still do. I haven't changed since childhood.

I don't know how long I sat there with the door open and the cold washing over me. Frankly, I didn't really care. All that went through my mind was how I couldn't finish a job that I started. 

_My God, I'm pathetic._

After about ten minutes, I heard the tinkle of the bell. Another customer. They walked slowly and purposefully to where I was squatting. Their shadow came over me, and I could see someone's reflection in the glass.

"Um..."

_ It was Shinji._

"No, don't say anything. I already know." I really just wanted to be left alone, but it gladdened my heart that he went after me. He cared at least that much. Obviously, the operation wasn't changed or else he wouldn't be standing there. I stood up, clutching a can of _something_ in one hand and a sandwich in another. "My job is to pilot Eva. I have no other choice."

I gave a can to Shinji, a can that I didn't even remember picking up. We walked back to Misato's apartment in companionable silence. Once I opened the door, I saw that everyone had already gone. We were alone again. Shinji and I walked out to the private balcony overlooking the city. He sat up while I jumped on top of the bench. The sunset was beautiful. "What are you going to do?" he asked.

My ego has a strange way of taking over my mouth when pride was at stake. "I don't know, but I know I'll put Rei and Misato to _shame_!" The boldness of the remark surprised even me.

It apparently surprised Shinji too. "You don't have to squash them."

_I don't want to squash them! _

Didn't he know that it was more than killing this Angel now? It was a matter of overcoming obstacles, finishing what was started, and showing the world what I could do! It had nothing to do with Misato and Rei, I just wanted to show them want the Second Child was capable of. "You're thinking far too simplistic, even if you are a man. It's honor now... my pride... that's all that matters now is my dignity."

I wouldn't find this out until later, but when I said that, one of Misato's cameras just happened to be focused in on Shinji's face. I assumed his silence was that he was taking in my breathtaking words. Instead, he didn't speak because he had the most loving smile on his face. I had never seen a smile like that before.

How I wished I saw him. Maybe then... I could have smiled back.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: Romantic sap comes through. Lord have mercy... 


	3. Chapter Three

********* 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

It was the eighth day of the month. What month? I don't even remember. One shouldn't ask me questions where I have to _think_ this early in the morning. Through my bleary vision, I could see a makeshift calendar tacked up on the door. "**Three days until D-Day**," it said in screaming bold print.

I rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. I was too nestled in my blanket to get up.

"Asuka?"

"Ugh..." I groaned.

I heard someone start tapping their foot. "You have to get up now. You've been sleeping for too long."

I opened my eyes disgustedly. "Can't you just leave me alone?!" 

Towering over me like a demented "Yan Can Cook", I took in the impressive sight of Ikari Shinji holding a frying pan in one hand and a spatula in the other. He was complete even down to the frilly green apron adorning his front. He looked mildly annoyed. "You've told me to leave you alone for two hours now. Your breakfast is getting cold. You have to get up _now_."

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Looks like he got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. The same could be said for me; my hair felt like a Halloween wig. "What time is it?" I yawned.

"9:00. You should have been up at seven."

"Oh..." I didn't even remember being told to wake up before now. Why didn't Misato wake us up at 7:00 like she did yesterday? He started to leave, and I coughed to get his attention. "Wait a second."

Shinji took off his headphones and waved the frying pan at me. "What is it?"

"What makes you think you can just barge into a girl's room like this? Were you watching me while I was sleeping?"

"Now why in the world would I do something like that?"

"Because you can't tear your eyes off me," I answered confidently. He blinked twice, and then a familiar red line crossed over the bridge of his nose. Shinji's eyes shot to the ground. Ah, there's nothing like a little embarrassment on somebody else's part to get you eager to go in the morning. He looked like a kid who just was caught doing something bad that he shouldn't have been doing. I actually felt _sorry_ for him. The great Asuka, feeling sorry for an underling!

_ I guess I couldn't help it. _

"I will give you a spine," I whispered to myself. "And Sohryu Asuka Langley always keeps her word."

He retreated in his kitchen while I got dressed.

Breakfast was a rather uneventful event. We both had our headphones on, not willing to speak to the other. I think the full weight of the situation finally sunk into our heads. We were here to stay. Shinji and I agreed on a motion to signal each other when to take our headphones off. 

It did get rather annoying with that SDAT player though, whenever I reached for the butter knife, so did he. More than once our fingers bumped together, and we'd always hold eye contact for a split second before turning our heads and looking away. I even felt a little heat in my cheeks.

_What is the matter with me? _

I assumed that it was a reaction that Shinji had that I just happened to be having because of him That's the only thing we could ever have in common, other than Eva. I hated him for being a competitor and challenging my high synch points. I hated him for getting me into this whole mess. I hated him for being able to move his Eva on the first sortie while I had to train for months to lift a finger. I even hated him for being able to look good in the mornings when I couldn't.

If I had so many reasons to hate him, why didn't I feel like it? 

"Asuka?"

The sound of my voice rising with his snapped me out of my thoughts. My hand was raised in midair, clutching the butter knife. The yellow glob was ready to slide off. He did the motion and I took my headphones off. But not before the butter knife clattered to my plate. I felt like a fool. "What?!"

Shinji picked up his plate and headed to the sink. "I think we've figured out the key to this SDAT player thing." I could eat freely now. Instead of the chopsticks, I used a fork to scoop up the remaining egg white on my plate. He scraped extra food into the garbage disposal and flipped the switch. I almost swore I did the same thing myself over the table. "You can't concentrate on it."

"Concentrate?"

Shinji nodded. "I found that the more you concentrate on something, the more the SDAT doesn't work."

I set my fork down and regarded him with a cool eye. "You mean to tell me that it only controls stuff that you don't know you're doing?"

"Exactly. I guess Misato is trying to control our instinct so we'll react the same way."

So that was it. The secret behind the SDAT. I didn't know this. What he was saying seemed to be true though, that explained the reason why I couldn't synch with him yesterday in the twister test. He was looking at me expectantly, as if I should say something else. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't even figure this out until he told me. But damned if I would admit it. "You mean to tell me that you _now_ figured all this out?"

He blinked again. "I said that we both figured this out, remember? I couldn't have done it without your help."

"But... let's make it perfectly clear that I thought it out first, all right?"

Shinji looked perplexed, but he agreed. "Fine."

I leaned back so that my chair balanced on two legs. A part of me felt bad about lying to myself like this, but the other and more dominant part said that I knew it all along. I simply never put it into coherent thought. It was such a trivial matter that my brain didn't think it was important enough to remember.

_ That'll work. _

I brought all four legs of the chair back onto the floor with a slam. "Let me help you with that."

_Whoa, did I just say that? _

"I'll wash and you rinse." I strode to the dishes and picked up a washcloth. "... I'm only helping because I have to, got it?" I started to scrub my plate clean.

He turned on the water and said acidly, "Of course. You're too stuck up to do anything for anyone else but yourself."

Instead of smacking him into an early grave as I would have done under normal circumstances, I paused my scouring and beamed at him. "I do believe you are growing a spine!" Seems that my promise would be fulfilled a lot faster than I thought!

Shinji didn't stop rinsing. "I always had a spine. It just takes a person like _you_ to reveal it."

Ouch, touchy. I wasn't hurt at all. In fact, I was complimented. It takes a very special person like me to do good in the world. I laughed cheekily. "Sorry. I guess I let the apron fool me into thinking you were a sissy."

He didn't answer. All my signs went on red alert. It was this wonderful, miraculous thing called woman's instinct, and right now it was going off like crazy. I must have touched some nerve in him. I didn't feel like I was in physical danger, but I felt myself losing control. Exposing vulnerability. Not necessarily in me, but in him.

_Your goal is to give him confidence, not take it away! _

I cleared my throat after an eternity of just the clinking of dishes. "So..." I realized at that moment that I knew nothing about Shinji. Sure, we breathed the same air and slept in the same apartment, but we didn't talk about anything. Give me a break, I had only known the guy for a maximum of three days.

We still didn't say anything, and what followed was the longest silence that _I_ think I'd ever been through. It would have been all right if it was companionable or easygoing, but it was neither. I guess I just didn't know what to say.

Ikari Shinji. The Third Child. What else did I know? What else did _he_ know?

"Wow, you two are working really well together."

Shinji looked over his shoulder, but I kept facing forward. I sneered at the sink.

Misato stepped into the kitchen, trailing her fingers on the table as she went to us. "I don't think I've ever seen the great Sohryu Asuka Langley doing dishes before. Willingly."

I washed the last spoon and threw it to Shinji's side. "I don't _do_ dishes because I don't _have_ to, Misato."

"Don't get her in a worse mood, Misato." Shinji requested tiredly. He untied the bow in the back and hung his apron on a hook jutting out from the sink. "Please?"

"All right."

I don't have to sit here and take this shit. "I'm going to take a shower now," I announced. Last night, I didn't take a bath. It must have slipped my mind while I was working on plans for world domination. Well, maybe not world domination, but I found that I was so exhausted by the day's grueling events that once I hit the futon, I was out.

Actually, I'm like that every day. I'm blessed with this rare gift of being able to sleep when I want to. I could sleep through an Angel attack if I wanted to. Here's the good news, Misato finally gave me a futon and a blanket so I didn't have to sleep on the couch. But for some odd reason, she didn't move Shinji's bed to the room I was staying in. His bed stayed in his room.

Even though she wants us to synchronize, we can't sleep in the same room. Politics were involved, for now.

Fine by me.

I walked to the bathroom, followed closely by Misato dragging Shinji. He had no problem about following me to the bathroom, the pervert, but he doesn't want to be present when I take a shower.

They stationed themselves outside the bathroom. Once I stood there for about a minute doing absolutely nothing, I felt confident that no one would look at me. And what did I care if he did? He was just another member of the male race, unable to resist the siren's song. He did it once before, why not again?

"And no peeking, got it?"

"Y-Yes."

I didn't hear Misato, so I assumed she wasn't answering. I didn't know whether to take off my clothes quickly or slowly. I opted for the latter. Not only would it not introduce me to the chill air as quickly, but also, I wanted to give this Ikari Shinji some kind of test.

_A test. _

Since I knew nothing about him as a person, I could at least experiment with his character. I knew he had no spine (well, maybe shards of it), was an early morning person and a confirmed pervert. He tried to look at me once before when I was putting on my plugsuit. Let's see if he learned his lesson.

_I hope so. _

"Are you still out there, Shinji?"

"Yes." 

The first things that had to go were the two neural plugs in my hair. I was proud of my position as an Evangelion pilot, and not afraid to show it. Unfortunately, no one else but the three pilots and NERV knew that these plugs are actually used in the actual combat situations. Most people at school just thought they were fancy hair clips. Of course, I told them otherwise. I set those on the bathroom sink.

No, I can't do this.

Without really thinking about it, I took off my shorts and my blouse as fast as I could. After unclasping my bra and pulling down my panties, I opened the shower door and slammed it behind me. The door offered not privacy whatsoever, it was made of that contorted glass that was supposed to throw light and blur your line of sight. I was a doll in a box.

"I caught you peeking at me, you pervert!"

I could see Shinji poking his head around the corner with one hand over his eyes. "I didn't!" he insisted.

"Oh geez Shinji, would you stop the panicked approach already?" That was the one thing I hated most about men, they pretended to be innocent when they really were not. I pulled a lever to the side and turned on the water. Of course, it came out ice cold. I squealed in surprise and backed up against a corner to escape it.

I saw a shadow quickly manifest itself near the entrance to the bathroom. "What's wrong, Asuka?"

The water was getting somewhat bearable now, but I had little goose bumps all over my body. Since the shower was so small, there wasn't really any place to escape to. The cold water drenched my legs. "It's your damn shower! It... it was freezing!"

"Sorry."

He's sorry? What for?! He's always the first to apologize when something goes wrong. "Why are you saying sorry? It's not like you could control it!" Did I find that annoying? The answer is yes. It only proved my housebroken male theory.

Shinji didn't say anything more for now, instead opting to retreat from the door. Through the glass door, I could see his feet and legs across the entrance. He must be lying down. Sort of like a guard. I squeezed some of Misato's shampoo into my palm and lathered it in my hair. The herbal scent was overpowering, but smelled great. I don't think my regular shampoo smelled this good.

"That smells really nice." Shinji's voice sounded pinched.

It sounded like a conversation starter to me, so I went along with it. It was better than talking to myself. "Yeah, I guess." I took in a deep breath and let the scent fill my lungs. "I wish I had shampoo like this." Feeling infinitely more relaxed now, I let the shampoo work through my hair. Little rivulets of foam ran down my sides and collected near the drain. I didn't want to get out.

"What kind of shampoo do you use, normally?"

I stopped and thought about that. It must be in one of my hordes of unpacked boxes. "Uh, I think its St. Ives."

"Oh, that's nice."

He didn't know what to say because he'd never heard of it before. Of course not, it was a European brand. "Why do you care?"

"I don't know. Misato told me to talk to you while you were in there."

Again, the pinched voice. Misato said that? After rinsing my hair out from all shampoo, I followed up with the conditioner of the same brand. It didn't smell as nice as the shampoo did, but it did its job. "Well, I don't like talking while I'm taking a shower."

"I don't either."

"Then let's _both_ be quiet."

He was thinking about it. Shinji finally asked, "Well, what am I supposed to do in the meantime?"

"I don't know!" I sighed in exasperation. "Why don't you just listen to me taking a shower?" It was a better suggestion than talking. Me, I liked to savor the moment. Maybe I'd grow into talking with someone who was standing right outside my open bathroom door, but for now, the experience was still new to me.

Not that it bothered me, of _course_, but I'd like to take things a little slower.

Shinji didn't say anything else, and neither did I.

Once I got out of the shower and toweled myself off, I shot a glance at the doorway. I hoped to catch him in the act and pummel him to death, but unfortunately, he wasn't looking.

_Damn. _

I was impressed. Very impressed. No one had ever lasted that long when faced with my body before. I don't mean to sound like a cheap whore when I say that, but it's true. Even on days when I don't want to show myself off, somehow the men always gawk. But what was it about me that they liked, anyway?

Did anyone pay attention to my Evangelion piloting skills or superior intellect?

"Do you want me to bring you fresh clothes?"

I took a lock of hair between my fingers and started twisting it. It was a much darker color now, rich like chocolate and streaked with cherry sauce. I wondered how water could change color like that so quickly. It almost reminded me of a thundercloud. One time in college I wondered why thunderclouds were dark despite it all being made of water. No one I encountered had the answer to that.

"Asuka?"

I sighed. "No, I'll get it myself." Then I added slyly, "I bet you're just dying to get into my lingerie stash, aren't you?" Some sputtering sounds from him. I used one towel to wrap myself in and another to wrap my hair. I don't like wet hair on my shoulders; it feels funny. I picked up the rest of my clothes, slightly damp from the water run off.

_ Time for test number two. _

Once I stepped outside, I made it a point to stand almost directly over top of him. "Did you say something else, Shinji?" I whispered. The towel covering my body was large enough to cover the bare necessities, but small enough to leave little to the imagination. Now I would find out if he was like those dime a dozen men I encountered in college.

You know, the type that got drunk off their asses and woke up the next morning wondering how in the world they thought the woman lying next to them was beautiful.

That kind.

"Well, Third Child?"

The look on his face lifted my spirits. Sohryu Asuka Langley still had it in her. His face turned as red as a stoplight and he sputtered for a little bit. I was about to tack him up in my mind as another "dimey" when he turned his head and thus looked away from me.

"What's wrong, Third?"

He just stared at the ground, seemingly composing himself. Of course, he had probably never seen anyone as gorgeous as me before in his life. "M-My name is Shinji." He turned his head and looked at me again, but this time he was looking into my eyes and nowhere else. "I call you Asuka, why can't you call me Shinji?"

I shifted in the doorway. Come to think of it, I hadn't really called him anything else other than a pervert, idiot, or Third. "I don't recall giving you permission to call me by my first name." I wanted to let him now just who was in control of the situation.

Instead of just sitting there and taking it, he scrambled to his feet and glared at me. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Why do you have to be so stupid?" I shot back.

"I'd rather be stupid than what you are! Touji called you the Devil..." His voice grew cold. "... and I'm starting to believe it's true."

I gasped. That was something that one of the stooges always called me. It seems that he picked up on it too. "The Devil?! Listen here Shinji," I poked his chest. "I've only _seen_ hell before, but I never ruled it!"

"Then why do you want to make it feel like it, for both of us?"

"I'm not trying to make this hell, you idiot! And stop shouting at me!"

He quieted down, but you could still see him shaking with suppressed anger. I really didn't know where it was coming from, because I know I haven't been trying to set him off.

_Ikari Shinji, why are you so mad? _

"I'm trying to get through this, but you're just being... being..."

"Being what, Third?" I challenged. He didn't dare look at my face, and this made me madder. He was still sniveling. No one likes a boy with no confidence, and me least of all. I did the thing I knew how to do. 

I slapped him.

It wasn't a slap meant to hurt, more to insult than anything else. If he was weak-willed enough to let a woman walk all over him, he shouldn't even be a man. I fully knew the consequences of my action before I did it, and I hoped it wouldn't go down _that_ road.

Test number three. You've passed the first two. What about this one?

Hitting me back would deny him the right to be forever called a man. Not doing anything at all and crying about it would also have the same consequence. He did neither. Instead, he stormed out and went to the solace of his room. I pursued him, fully intending to barge in. Shinji slammed the door in my face. Two inches more and my nose would have been broken. I felt the walls shake.

This was getting heated. Shinji really surprised me: while I didn't think he had any backbone, he was matching me word for word. Was it a side effect of being forced to spend three days isolated from the world? Or was he noticing my mannerisms? Was this crazy synch test actually going to work? 

"Fine!" I shouted. "Ignore your duty as an Eva pilot! I knew you couldn't make it. You're way too pathetic to even _think_ about it. You should leave it to women like me who know what we're doing!"

He didn't answer. This made me madder. I stormed to where I knew the nearest video camera was and stood in its line of sight. I waved my clothes at it like a soldier brandishing his sword. "Misato! I know you can see me! Get your _ass_ over here right now!"

What was I supposed to do now? My synch partner couldn't make it, but he didn't have to drag me down with him. I could ask Misato if I could synch with Rei and have her defeat the Angel with me. Or, maybe I could do it alone. Anything else but this, I can't take it.

Seconds later, there was a gentle knock on the door. "What's going on, Asuka?"

I rushed to the door and tried to pull it open. It didn't move. "Let me out. Now."

Misato ordered me to stand back. I merely let my hands off it. She opened the door and crashed into me. "What? What is it?"

I angrily pointed at Shinji's slammed door. "You've got a grumpy teenage child on your hands! He's being a stubborn jackass!"

Misato looked like she didn't believe what I was saying, but then she caught sight of Shinji's room. She grabbed my wrist and dragged me over to the door. I yanked that out of her grasp and crossed my arms. 

"Shinji? Are you in there?" Misato knocked on the door.

"Of course he's in there, the idiot."

"Go away."

What? What?! I was doing that poor spineless jerk a favor by gracing him with my presence for three days! Most men would give their right _leg_ for an opportunity like this with me. No, I wasn't narcissistic enough to compliment myself that much (well, maybe a bit), but if there's anything that I hated more than wet hair on my shoulders, it was wasting my time. My time was precious.

Misato glared at me. "Shinji, I'm opening—"

She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence because I had kicked the door open. Whirling into the room like a woman possessed, I glimpsed the boy lying down on his bed with headpieces in his ears. "Get up!" 

He didn't make any move to stand. In fact, he just shoved a pillow over his head and attempted to block out my words. Now I was starting to get mad. "I said get up!"

"Asuka, stop. Shinji, can you hear me?"

I watched him and seethed. He clamped the pillow even more tightly. Let the idiot suffocate himself then! I hated that even though he was the one who slammed the door in my face, he still got more attention than I did from Misato. "I'm leaving."

_Why did this spineless boy find someone else to care about him before I found someone who cared about me? _

"You will stay right here, Asuka." A new voice, but one I knew too well. I spun around and saw Kaji standing in the door. I would have greeted him with a fierce hug and a hello but I was rooted to my spot. Why was Kaji here? "Asuka, we need to talk." He paused, and then added, "With Captain Katsuragi's permission, of course."

I looked back at Misato. She had sat down at the head of the bed but made no move to touch Shinji. 

"I'm going with Kaji." I don't think I left much room for argument. "I'll be back."

Not that I particularly wanted to come back, but I needed sometime alone with Kaji. One of the reasons I like him so much is because he always made me feel good when I was talking to him. Like my problems were his problems too, and he actually cared enough to listen to me speak. I don't want to sound sappy when I say this, but he made me feel loved.

Maybe that's why I loved him in return.

I let Kaji lead me out of the room and out onto the balcony. The sun shone directly overhead. I couldn't help but groan; we were only halfway through the first day. Second day if you don't count that the official document that was signed yesterday. The one that said Shinji and I were a team instead of Rei.

"Why do I have to do this?" I pouted. Kaji gave me a look that said, "Why do you have to ask?" I understood it clearly and sank down onto the bench. "How come I couldn't be paired with Ayanami Rei?"

Kaji pulled up his pant legs before he sat down, revealing his wrinkled socks. "The Asuka I know wouldn't give up so easily."

"I'm not the one who's giving up," I insisted. "_He_ was the one who slammed the door on _me_."

"Ah... but I do remember you being the one who walked out on him yesterday."

Indignant, I crossed my arms. "It was his fault. You don't understand... He's so... not like you, Kaji! He's spineless, a pervert, housebroken, and just plain annoying! I can't stand one more day under the same roof as him."

Kaji scratched the two-day-old stubble on his chin. "That may be, but you'd be showing weakness if you quit now. This is what piloting Evangelion is all about. They chose you because they know that you can handle it. They chose you over the First Child." He stopped. "And... the Third chose _you_ over the First."

It took a moment for the words to sink in, and when they finally did, I don't think I understood it. Did he say what I thought he said? "Me?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. After you left yesterday, Miss Horaki insisted he go after you. Shinji didn't really move. Misato started insisting that the First and the Third should be made a pair." He gazed at me, trying to figure out what to say next. "There were two other boys in the room..."

I snorted. "The other two stooges? Don't worry, they're not important."

"Well, the one with light brown hair said that Shinji should be able to choose. It was his mission, after all. Shinji sort of looked at Misato, and then at the First. Then he got up and said he was going to find you."

I didn't know what to say. That idiot actually... chose me? Everyone, even I, knew that the operation should have been changed to make a pair of Shinji and Rei. They mastered the twister test before Shinji and I even got one circle together. "How did you know this?"

He grinned. "There are cameras all over that room, Asuka. Misato didn't want me to come in for fear of _distracting_ you."

I smirked at the floor. "Wow, Misato can read me that well?"

"Yeah."

We both laughed.

Ikari Shinji chose Sohryu Asuka Langley. There was no escaping that simple fact. "Still, that boy is one odd character. I mean..." I turned to Kaji for a confirmation. "If you were Shinji... I mean, if you could imagine being in his shoes... who would you..."

Kaji didn't have to say anything, I already knew the answer. He would have picked Rei over me. Even though it was a make believe scenario, hearing the words "Kaji wouldn't have chosen me" in my mind was enough. It hurt me.

He spoke softly. "He had enough confidence in you to finish the job."

"Even though he has no confidence in himself."

"Then make him learn." Kaji nudged me in the ribs. "If anyone can make the impossible happen, it's you. And... you're beautiful to boot. You'll be synchronized in no time."

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. "Fine. I'll do it. But if he gets on my nerves, I'll scrap him and defeat this Angel myself."

"If that was possible, we'd have done it already." He sighed and stood up. Kaji offered me his hand to help me on my feet. "Be tolerant of him, because you're going to need it for a long, long time."

I assumed he meant we'd be pilots for a long time, that's why I should at least try to get along with him. I started to walk, but instead of going inside with me, he pulled my arm back and halted me. "Wait, Asuka, there's something that you have to know."

Then he said something that made the ground buckle and heave underneath me before vanishing into oblivion.

"NERV denied my request to be your guardian." His eyes grew faraway. "Your _ permanent_ home is now at the apartment of Captain Katsuragi Misato."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: It just skipped in the series from the boat to suddenly she's living with Misato. Methinks she'd want to live with Kaji first, and only when that was denied, she would live with Misato. 

Well _damn_, Asuka's such a hard character to WRITE, even in the hella easy POV of first person. There must be _some_ version of a split personality in there because her two dominant emotions are always conflicting each other. Is this why she is portrayed as a heartless bitch in most fanfictions? Yes, but it's wrong. That isn't her true character, and that isn't _anyone's_ real character. I wonder if all Asuka POV writers share my viewpoint on this. Oh well... 


	4. Chapter Four

********* 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

I think the rest of day one for me was a listless and halfhearted attempt at synchronization. Misato had talked to Shinji while Kaji was talking to me, so when I was led inside, I saw Shinji standing erectly next to Misato. He looked about how I felt: angry, frustrated, and tired. His eyes were averted to the ground.

"Hey hey, I think that should do it." Kaji put an arm around my shoulders, something that I didn't know what to do with. I was furious at him for saying that to me and for acting so damn casual about it, like it was no big deal. It was a big deal to _me_. Another side of me relished that touch and how even though it probably wasn't meant as a move of love, I cherished it just the same.

I didn't move his arm. Instead, I looked to the ground.

Misato stepped forward. "If you can't do this, then just admit it and tell me right now. I can always change the operation, even now." There was a silence in the room. She looked from me to Shinji, then back to me again. I think she was directing the question at me.

I half expected Shinji to say that he wanted the First instead of me. I guess I didn't really believe that he had chosen me, and that invoked a sort of humbleness in my heart towards this boy. Sohryu Asuka Langley, feeling humble. It was a different sort of feeling, but one I didn't like. I didn't feel in control.

"No Misato, I think... I think they can do it."

Misato looked at Kaji reproachfully. "I don't think the question was asked of you. I want to hear it from their mouths, not yours."

"Sorry, sorry..." He put both of his hands up in defeat. Kaji was bested before he even started.

Well geez.

"I'll do it for the sake of my Eva." I said loudly, hoping to break Shinji's silence. I wondered briefly if Misato told him of my stay here. "All of Tokyo-3 depends on me."

"Shinji?"

He kept his eyes directed towards the ground. The floor must have been especially fascinating in that area. I wanted to go to a private room and change out of my garb, which were currently two towels. I feared that the towel around me would drop and that my hair was probably a tangled mess now. If I didn't brush it directly after taking a shower, it would be completely unmanageable.

I came to the conclusion that this really, really sucks.

I opened my mouth to tell him to hurry up, but I felt Kaji's hand on my shoulders again. His eyes told me to be quiet. Instead, I sighed. The atmosphere wasn't right to leave the room, but atmosphere be damned. Sohryu Asuka Langley doesn't care about moments like these. I care about my hair.

Fine! Choose Rei already and get it over with! Stop... stop leaving me in the balance.

"While I won't do it for my Eva, I'll do it... to finish what I started."

There was silence in the room for a couple moments and nobody made a move. He chose me... again? I walked over to Shinji, towel garb and all, and didn't know whether to slap him for making me wait or congratulate him on finding a spine. The answer he gave was almost something that I would have said myself.

"Now shake hands, both of you."

The suggestion was distasteful to me and making Shinji uncomfortable. "Why? Haven't we already reached some sort of understanding?" I whined it more than asked.

"Do it anyway. Asuka? Shinji?"

I wrinkled my nose. Kaji went to Misato's side. Well, I guess I could see some of the merit involved in that. This handshake was supposed to mean a lot. I grudgingly stuck my hand out, using the other to hold up my towel. I really did feel in danger now of exposing myself. "Fine, let's get this done quickly so I can change."

Shinji blinked at my hand, as if unsure what to do. 

"Shake?" I said. "Shake. This is where you take my hand and move it up and down." I was starting to get impatient. My hair was drying quickly, dammit!

After briefly looking over my shoulder at Misato, Shinji did something that I never would have expected him to do. He walked away and left me standing there with my hand stuck out. "You go put clothes on," he said.

I didn't know whether he meant it as a blow to my ego or if he really _did_ want me to change into suitable clothing. Either way, my pride was hurt. I felt like a moron standing there with my hand holding nothing but air. I whirled around to Kaji and pointed at Shinji setting up the test. "Did you see _that_? He didn't even shake my hand! He really _is_ an idiot!"

Kaji held his hands up. "He wants you to go change first. We don't have that much time left."

"What are you talking about? We've got two and a half damn days!" I was not to be placated. Did they take it the same way as I did, that his refusal to shake hands with me was a refusal to acknowledge me?

I don't think so. 

"Asuka, be out here and ready in ten minutes." Misato said. "We're going to work on your synching."

I sighed. Not that horrid circle thing again. I trudged to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I didn't care about the "doors open" policy just now. I needed some time to think to myself. Fortunately, no one came over and demanded that I keep the door open.

_ Asuka, think! _

I still had my clothes in one hand. Setting those down on the sink, I traded for the two neural plugs. Since the door was closed and I was fairly confident that no one would try to open it, I unwrapped both towels and stood with my hair spilling over my shoulders. Misato had a full-length mirror bolted to the back of the bathroom door.

It was the only mirror in the whole damn apartment. I couldn't help but look myself over.

Such is the call of mirrors to women, we have to stand there and admire (or pick apart) our imperfections or highlights. Me... I could pick out many highlights about myself. I slid the plugs into my hair, still looking myself over. I had the perfect body of a female: thin waisted, full hips, and narrow shoulders. My breasts were large without being overbearing, and no excess fat hung anywhere.

But then I started seeing the imperfections, and those were more glaring. On my flat stomach I had a faint birthmark that ran from my bellybutton and two inches to the left. On my right shoulder was a jagged scar from an Eva training accident. My lips were too small and my eyes felt too big.

I sighed. This bodily inventory would get me nowhere, just as it had numerous times before. I put on my undergarments first and then looked at myself in the mirror again. Maybe I hoped that they would mask my imperfections, but they didn't.

It would surprise people to know that the only person who thought Sohryu Asuka Langley wasn't perfect was herself.

Not wishing to continue my scrutiny, I put on those shorts and slid the blouse on top of that. They were still slightly damp and smelled faintly of shampoo. I searched around the bathroom for any semblance of a comb or brush, but I only found a toothbrush. I ran my fingers through my hair and did the best I could.

My hair is coarse, not silky like that of other girls. Another imperfection.

"Asuka? Are you finished yet?"

I opened the door, leaving the two towels on the floor. I didn't really care to hang them up. "Yeah, I'm done."

Misato greeted me with a smile. She had in her arms a Rockhopper penguin, and it was quirked its head at me curiously. "Pen Pen wanted to watch your progress too." I groaned. The penguin I recognized from yesterday when the other two stooges and Hikari were there. I hoped it didn't have high expectations for us.

Even if it _was_ a penguin.

"Where's Kaji?"

A brief look of contempt flashed across the purple haired woman's face. She set the penguin down and it hobbled to the room where I was to be synching. "He left a minute ago and bragged about what a fine job he's done. He said that I couldn't do it without him. That idiot!"

I smirked. That was Kaji for you. I wished he had stayed, but I didn't want him to see my idiot partner screw things up for both of us. I guess Misato had a little bit of common sense, he would have distracted me.

"Let's go then."

Those three words marked the beginning of the longest and most painful Eva training I had ever gone through. Misato asked us why we weren't wearing our headphones while doing this. Shinji explained that we already figured out the secret to it and that they were useless because it was more important to concentrate. Then I added that we wouldn't be wearing headphones in our Evas, so why would we wear them here?

She looked pleased.

I watched the clock inch from 2:00 to 3:00. And then to 4:00. 5:00. 6:00. Good thing we ate lunch right before this, or I'd be even more exhausted than I am right now. But I couldn't say that the four-hour training didn't help us a little bit. Our synch ratio got up to 53% at its highest. It would have been 55%, but Shinji missed a circle that I had.

I kicked him.

53% was 47% from perfection.

The only thing spurring me on to do this was no longer my pride and my ego; it was my desire to win. I wanted to prove both to myself and Shinji that he made the right choice in picking me. I didn't want to fail him, but most of all I didn't want to fail myself.

"Again."

And we did the test again.

"Just one more time."

I think I got sick of hearing the words "just one more time" coming out of Misato's mouth. She insisted on besting our previous score, and if we didn't, we'd have to do it again automatically. When we did beat our previous score, I was the one who wanted to try it again so we could raise just one more percentage point.

The longer I went on, the more I felt that this mission would actually work. I remember glancing at Shinji during one test. He wore an intense look of concentration and the sides of his face and arms were shining with sweat. So were mine. I think I have to take another bath.

"All right, that's enough." Misato clapped her hands while the penguin squawked and waved its flippers. I was out. I crumpled to the ground, my back unwilling to bend either way except the way which it was been accustomed to: a ninety-degree angle. The tendons in my neck felt like they were ready to snap, and my fingers were red from holding up the weight of my body at times.

I tried to get blood back into my feet by hitting them against the ground. It hurt. I always used to make fun of people when they said that it was a "good kind of hurt", but now I think I finally understand what they meant.

"Anyone up for round two?"

Shinji and I both peeled our heads from the floor and looked up at the clock. It was 6:54. We both groaned.

"Guess that's my answer."

"Guess so," Shinji replied weakly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Misato stride over to the door. I envied the bounce in her step and wished that I had that kind of energy now. "You guys have a half hour to eat and get ready for bed. Then at 7:30, I want you back on the balcony."

"What for?" I asked. The balcony? Jumping off sounded like a feasible option.

She flashed us a victory sign. "I want you two out there. Alone for an hour. I don't care what you talk about, you don't even have to talk about anything. As long as you're on the same bench, I don't care what you do."

I sat up and looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. Synch training was okay, but an hour of nothing? Another waste of time? "I think one more hour of this test would help us a hell of a lot more than sitting around and doing nothing."

That statement got my feet and my neck screaming in protest.

Pen Pen walked out the door, but Misato stayed behind for a moment longer. "That may be so, but you won't get any better if you don't understand the other person. You guys can play catch up." She winked and closed the door behind her. "Good luck!" she called from the hallway.

Neither of us knew what to say. "How come you didn't say anything?" I demanded of Shinji. "I _know_ you don't want to waste your time like I do."

Shinji was still lying down on the ground. "I don't like wasting my time, but I don't want to do this test again either."

"That makes two of us."

Without much of an argument, I said I'd take a shower again. Even though he was less than pleased about having to stay that much longer in sweaty clothes, he had not choice but to comply. We brushed our teeth and a squabble over whose toothpaste was more superior broke out. I said my teeth were whiter than his. He disagreed.

Anyways, then we watched T.V. I didn't want to watch his stupid "Symponic Orchestra" marathon, so I grabbed the remote and changed the channel to a wrestling match. To my surprise, he had a remote as well and flipped the channel back. I swear, Misato bought two remotes just for that very purpose.

"No, I don't want to watch that, it's stupid!"

"I don't want to watch two guys doing _that_."

"Are you a man? Watch wrestling!" I shot back..

"Are you a woman? Watch the orchestra!" He wrapped up my words and gave me a bullet through the heart.

I threw the remote down and said I was hungry. He said he was hungry too. I didn't have long to gloat over my victory that we finally agreed on something. The time was 7:21 and we didn't have enough time to cook a full course dinner. Shinji got a bowl of cereal while I opted for some instant ramen. Hot and spicy, of course.

After I eagerly gobbled down my ramen, when the clock hit 7:30, I was already outside. I lay down on the bench, hoping I could take up all the room. Unfortunately, there was always a little bit of extra space on the end. After staring at the sky for a minute, Shinji finally came out. He was still eating his cereal.

"Geez, isn't that soggy yet?" He must have been a really slow eater.

"This is my second bowl." He sat down beside my head with me still lying level to the ground. I was about to tell him to get the hell to the other side, but I caught myself. Kaji's words about staying here for a long, long time repeated themselves.

"So..." Since Shinji was busy eating his cereal, I felt like I had to be the one to start a conversation. I wished I had something in my mouth too so I didn't have to do this. I only talk when I want to, and right now, I didn't feel like talking. I said nothing else.

I just looked at the sky.

It was sort of cool outside, but that was only when the chill evening breeze blew. I felt like a storm was coming soon.

"The stars aren't out tonight."

I couldn't think of a snappy comeback to that one, so instead I stayed quiet. I was looking straight at it. There was no moon either. I think it was hiding behind a thick blanket of dark clouds. "The moon isn't out either."

"No." He put his cereal bowl down on the ground, and I heard spoon clatter against the side of the ceramic.

That was the extent of our conversation for the next fifteen minutes. We didn't say anything else. I mean, what in the world could I say? I was somewhat afraid to speak, because something bad and derogatory might come out of my mouth. Normally, it did, but I didn't want to push my luck anymore with this boy until I found out more about him.

I used to think that he was the perfect whetstone, but now I wasn't so sure anymore. Underneath that calm exterior, there was something always boiling, something always waiting. Waiting to explode.

We were kindred souls in that, I guess.

I noted there weren't even any sounds. There was the occasional car that would roar down the street and the rare shout of a mother calling her child in, but other than that, no other noise except for his breathing and mine. There weren't even any cicadas out.

I'm very dangerous when exposed to long periods of silence. I had to say something, even it was just for the sake of breaking up the monotony. "Hey Shinji..."

"Hmm?"

He sounded tired. "Why don't you have any crickets or things like that here?"

It was a stupid question, but it was something.

He thought about his. Shinji drew his knees up to his chest and put his arms around them. "I don't know."

"You don't know?" I snorted. "You've lived here longer than I have and you don't know?"

Shinji didn't say anything and once more subjected me to the silence. "I never really paid much attention to things like that." He turned his head and looked down at me. "Do you?"

I put my arms behind my head. "Not really, I just wanted to know why it's so damn quiet around here."

I could see him smile. "Maybe that's because you're not talking."

"Watch it, Third." He was laughing a little bit, but I couldn't help myself from smiling. I sneered, "At least it's better than not talking at _all_ like you do."

"I like the quiet."

"I noticed."

"It helps me think about things. I'm used to it," he explained.

That was totally opposite from me. Life as I remember back then was full of hustle and bustle. The only way I felt comfortable was when there was a lot of noise. When I was selected to be an Eva pilot, they sent me over to Germany for training. Then I went to college in America before going back to Germany for more training. 

_When I was selected to be an Eva pilot, my mother— _

Shinji interrupted my line of thought, making me nearly jump out of my skin. "What are you thinking about?"

I didn't want to go down that path. "I'll have you know that my thoughts are worth a lot more than a penny, Ikari Shinji." I sat up and narrowed my eyes playfully at him. "But for yours... maybe a penny is too much."

He looked annoyed. "Don't say such awful things about me."

Another silence. Suddenly I became aware of how closely we were sitting. In Germany, they told me that the respectable distance that Japanese liked to sit was about twice of what I would normally allow. I was sitting the way I would next to a German. I scooted a little further away, and Shinji looked at me, confused.

"You smell," was my excuse. Of course, I delivered this with a smile so that he wouldn't take it the wrong way. Time for another test: the test of humor.

Shinji still took it the wrong way. "But I just took a shower."

I exhaled sharply. "I didn't say you smelled bad, I just said you smelled!" Why were Japanese people so damn uptight? I don't remember it being this bad when I left.

A motorcycle careened down the street.

"So you're saying I smell good?" 

I caught a hint of slyness in that question, but it was gone so quickly that I wondered if it even existed in the first place. What to say to that? I didn't anticipate this. Instead, I changed the subject. "Looks like I'm going to be living with you guys from now on."

"I know." He looked down at his hands. Disappointment that he couldn't be rid of me? Happiness that I was staying? I couldn't tell. "Misato told me."

That decision still made me angry. I as an Eva pilot was one of the most important people there. I should be able to get a choice of who I get to stay with. The only thing that comforted me was that I was _sure_ that Kaji argued with them for as long as he could on that issue. "Yeah, it sucks. I'd much rather live with Kaji."

Shinji paused. "Misato said that too."

I peered at his face. "What else did she say?"

"Nothing I didn't already know."

I didn't let that stop me. "Did she say anything about Kaji and I?"

He paused again. "Not really. She just tried to convince me to keep going with this mission. With you."

"Of course, that's because I'm the best."

The silence that followed that comment was welcome. I needed time to sort things out in my head. Did Misato really say that he should continue with me? Or was he just saying that to keep my esteem up? I didn't care either way, because it was me who was here now, not Rei. She _must_ have said something about Kaji and me if she talked of me staying here with them.

"When are you going to unpack your things?"

I sighed. There was no escape. "I guess tomorrow. We don't really have anything else to do..."

"... and I don't want to do those tests until I have to..." His voice turned skeptical. "You mean you're going to let me help you?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed. Did he think for one second he'd be able to weasel his way out of this? Hauling boxes back and forth from the living room to my designated room was _his_ job. Then I realized that he meant it in a different way, like I would refuse to have him help me. "Yeah, you can help me. Better to put you to work than doing nothing. Plus, maybe it'll help with synchronization... or something."

Shinji looked content with the answer. Maybe he didn't mind being worked like a mule. Or maybe he just didn't know what he was going to do. "Fine. I'll do it."

"You don't have a choice," I informed him arrogantly. The wind started to grow a little stronger, and I felt something wet hit the back of my neck. "By the way, I think it's going to rain."

"I think you're right."

"Of course I am."

We had to cut our quiet time by about 20 minutes. I ushered Shinji inside just as the heavens unleashed a torrent of rain. Shinji wanted to go back outside because he left his cereal bowl on the bench. I said that the damn cereal bowl was still going to be there when the storm stopped, so he should just calm down. He countered that maybe the wind was strong enough to blow it away. I commented that at least we wouldn't have to wash it if that happened.

He didn't go back outside.

After I had rolled my futon out and was unfolding my blanket, I made a general comment about how unbelievable it is that Japanese sleep on the floor. The rain must have stopped, I could no longer hear it pelting against the roof. Japan had really odd weather swings.

"Did Kaji also tell you about our sleeping arrangement?"

I stopped unfolding and stared at him. He was in the safety of his room, sitting up on his bed. "What?"

"Misato said that tomorrow night we'd be... um... sleeping in the same room."

I growled. With the door to Shinji's room open and me sleeping within sight of him, what did Misato count as the same room?

Can't the woman give me just one good night's rest? I was exhausted from today and wanted to curl up in my blanket and never come out. My eyelids felt like leaden weights and begged to close over my dry eyeballs. They'd been open so long I was afraid my eyes would dry out. "Your door's open. I can see you. We're sleeping in the same damned room."

"No... I mean..." He was pausing. Oh no, this had to be bad. "In the same room as in right next to each other."

I suddenly didn't feel so tired anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Author's notes: Yes, if you rewatch the episode "Both of you, dance like you want to win!" again, you will note that when Asuka kicks Shinji, neither of them are wearing headphones. Thus, my chapter has no headphones. 

I'm a stickler for detail, what can I say. 


	5. Chapter Five

********* 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

**2 days until D-Day. **

I didn't get a wink of sleep. Too busy plotting all the ways to disembowel Misato. I mean, I understand that synchronization this, I got that. Yes, sleep makes up for nearly one third of our time here together, so sleeping in the same room is instrumental to understanding that person's patterns. 

_Okay, I was with her so far. _

Wait a minute... didn't she say that politics were involved? Isn't it some kind of abuse or sexual crime to force two people to share the same room together? That really didn't bother me as much as I made it out to be, but since Misato insisted that we wouldn't do that, then I convinced myself that I didn't have to worry about it.

_Was I wrong! _

I hate being thrown into situations that I didn't have any planning for. Misato knew that. If she had told me earlier than now I wouldn't be so mad, because that way I would have some semblance of a plan.

I think I slept on and off during the night. But strangely enough, when I woke up in the morning I didn't feel tired. Maybe I was running on my energy reserves. I'm reputed to be a late sleeper, but as soon as I saw morning's first light, I knew I couldn't go back to sleep.

Might as well get up.

I looked at the time. 6:27. I cursed Misato to nine hells. It was her fault for making me get up this early. After rolling up my futon and folding my blanket, I plopped down on the couch and tried to calm my beastlike hair. No sooner as I started combing it with my fingers, Shinji stirred in his bed.

"Hey Shinji?"

He didn't answer. Must still be asleep. I gave a once over to the mountain of boxes that littered the apartment before turning my attention back inside the room of the Third Child. From where I was sitting, I couldn't really see much except a white mound.

_Sleeping peacefully. _

The thought was both a statement and evil at the same time. It was another half an hour until he had to wake up, but I wanted to have a little bit of fun. Was it always this craving for embarrassment that made me want to start all days off? Besides, it's not like I would hurt him or anything, just wake him up early. And also, he should know that my sense of humor would be important to understand if we were to synchronize.

Show him what Sohryu Asuka Langley was all about.

I slid the neural plugs in my hair and walked casually to his door. I looked around once before stepping inside. I had never been inside his room before, and it was an odd feeling. The walls were strangely bare, with no belongings or anything. I wrinkled my nose in distaste. He was one lousy interior decorator.

It was as bare as a cheap motel room.

The only thing that would make me believe there was a person living here was his closet. It was open, and inside hung a myriad of pressed white shirts, arranged neatly from which was the biggest to the smallest. On the other side were ironed black slacks in a row.

_Geez, talk about boring. _

There was a section behind the shirts that had all the clothes he accumulated that I'm guessing he never wore. I didn't want to even _look_ at those.

I looked around the room again. A small dresser at the head of his bed caught my eye. On top, there were two SDAT players. One I recognized as the one that we were told to use, and the other was an older model. There was a tape inside, but I didn't want to open the case for fear of waking him up. Probably some boring symphony tape.

Finally, I looked at Shinji.

He was sleeping with his face to the wall. He didn't snore. I breathed a prayer of thanks. Tonight was going to be miserable for me (and for _him_) if he did snore. He had his covers pressed to his chin; it reminded me of a little kid.

_Once you take a good look at him, he is sort of cute... _

I dismissed that thought as quickly as it came with another one.

_ Yeah, if you ignore the weak will and the perverseness... _

It was probably an effect of not seeing anyone else except Kaji and Misato during these two days. Anything that moved looked cute to me. I scolded myself for having set my standards too low this time.

I guess I couldn't tell you what came over me when I watched Shinji sleeping. A part of me was repulsed that I'd even think about such a possibility, but the other part was just content to watch him breath. I told myself that he earned his rest last night, he actually met my expectations during the test.

_Let him sleep_, my inner voice said.

Too bad I never listened to my inner voice.

Grabbing his sheet, I yanked it off his body and sang, "Get up, little Shinji! Time to make Asuka breakfast!" People have to understand that there's spontaneity in me that has to be fed. If I don't get my dose of the unusual, I get very cranky. That's also linked to my power needy self, but we won't get into that now.

He groaned, rolled over and rubbed his eyes. Once his eyes focused on the clock, he looked up at me and waved his hand. "It's only 6:50. I still have ten minutes to sleep... so leave me alone..."

"But I'm hungry now!" I whined. I wanted to be as annoying as I could. If he didn't think it was possible, I just did it. I took to laying my hand on his shoulder and rocking him back and forth in his bed. "Please? Please? I'm hungry..."

"No... let me sleep. I let you sleep yesterday..."

I dropped his sheet to the floor and rocked him with both hands. So let him treasure the moment. It'll be the only time I'd ever have my hands on him. I turned on my sexy voice and guessed he'd be up in two seconds. "But I'm really, _really_ hungry..."

I wish I had a camera to capture that moment. His eyes shot open as if set off by rockets and his face was drenched in red. He stared up at me with his hands drawn up to his face. The sacrificial lamb picture came to mind. "F-Fine."

"That's much better, little Shinji." I hummed as I swaggered out of the room, knowing he was watching my every move. I had so much power to manipulate men it almost frightened me. Almost. "And no hashbrowns either. I hate those things."

I was waiting at the table calmly when Shinji marched into the room. His hair wasn't as perfect as yesterday's, but not bad considering he just got up. Why was he in such a rush, anyways? I said I wanted a German breakfast and that I was sick of eating noodles first thing in the morning. He said that he didn't know how to make it.

I sighed. He sure was ignorant.

I showed him how to make pancakes, but not before exploding the flour bag while trying to open it. It wasn't my fault that those damn flour bags are so hard to tear...

I said I wanted blueberry pancakes. He said they didn't have blueberries. 

Strawberries? No. 

Chocolate chips?

"You eat chocolate first thing in the morning?" The very thought was distasteful to him.

I said it was like a tradition in Germany. He shook his head, no doubt wondering about my sanity, but got a bag of chocolate morsels all the same. Almost half an hour later, we were eating perfectly cooked pancakes made by yours truly. Shinji actually said they were pretty good. I beamed with pride. I saved an extra plate for Misato, but she didn't come down to breakfast. I didn't see her for the rest of the morning either.

I ate her pancakes.

"What do we do now?" I asked through a mouthful of pancake.

Shinji looked at me. "What about unpacking your things? Since you're going to be staying with us, you—"

I held up my hand, this was my last bite and I wanted to relish it. After I had finished thoroughly chewing and swallowing it, I said, "Yeah, we should do that."

I've explored this apartment from top to bottom, and there's only one possible place where they can expect to fit me. I took a hunch that Misato wanted me to stay in the guest bedroom, and if I was wrong, I still wouldn't move. I was not going to sleep on the couch or some futon on the floor. "You can start by taking those three boxes to this room." I ordered Shinji.

I stepped into the guest bedroom; it looked exactly like Shinji's room, minus clothes and two SDAT players. It had a scent of a new coat of paint. There were plenty of drawers to put all my clothes, but not many shelves. When I was inspecting the inadequate closet space, Shinji came in with three boxes and set them on the floor.

"I'll just put these here, okay?"

"Fine."

He left to get more, and kept bringing back box after box. Not once did he complain about his rotten luck helping me. I know for a _fact_ some of those were very heavy. That moved the respect up a couple of notches. Once the room was full of boxes, there was hardly any room to maneuver. I told him to stop. "We have to have a place to _walk_."

"Oh, right."

Shinji just stood there in the doorway, not sure of what to do. I didn't want him to go and I didn't want him to stay at the same time. I knew this would be a giant pain, I'd already done it once before in college. It would be great to have a helping hand.

"All right Shinji. I'm giving you the honor of being able to see my things." I pulled a strip of packing tape off a box and crumpled it into a sticky ball. "You can help me unpack."

Shinji hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"When am I ever not sure?" I threw the tape ball at him and it stuck to his shirt. He brushed it off and it tumbled onto the floor. "Besides, it'll help you to get to know me." He didn't respond. "Not in _that_ way, you pervert."

"I wasn't thinking about it that way."

"Obviously you were, or else you wouldn't have known what I was talking about!"

Shinji maneuvered around the boxes and made it to the bed, the only box less place in the room. I said I'd open the boxes and hand him the things, and he would put them in the correct places.

_Maybe this will help his decorating skills. _

The first two boxes had nothing but dresses. We hung them on hangers that were left over in the closets; me doing the hangar work and Shinji arranging them in the closet. By color. I was meticulous like that. "This one's sort of pretty." Shinji held up a dress that I hadn't worn in two years. It was green with a garish bow in the front. 

"I wear that when I don't care about what I look like." I hoped he was joking when he said it looked good.

Shinji held another one up. This one was as red as my plugsuit, and stitched with lots of seed beads. It showed plenty of cleavage. However, when I expose one part of my body, the other has to be covered: it reached down to the floor. "What about this one?"

"Oh, I wore that one to a school dance in Germany. I like that one, so be careful with it."

And this went on. Whenever he found a dress he was curious about, he asked me for its origin. I told him, but only as much as I wanted to. In one box, there was a sweater from the college that I went to back in America. He asked what the strange characters meant.

"What does it say?"

I paused. I didn't want to tell him that I already went to college. For what reason, I don't know why. Instead of saying " Princeton ", I told him it said a name of a famous beer in Germany. He didn't argue with me, just folded it back up and put it in a drawer. I need to remember to tell him I went to college next time the topic comes up.

Of course, some of the things I was embarrassed to show him. Well, the embarrassment wasn't on _my_ part. One box was full of undergarments. I gave him a stack of white panties and told him to put that in the top drawer along with this box of bras. It was funny to watch him stammer and leave the room, saying "I'll be back once I get a glass of water."

It was good for a laugh.

True to his word, he came back a minute later with a single glass. "Where's mine?" I demanded.

"You didn't ask for one!"

I stopped stacking boxes in a corner long enough to glare at him. "Well, you should know that I'm thirsty too! I've been working harder than you."

"You're just taking stuff out of the boxes! I'm the one who has to walk all over your room to put stuff away!"

Damn. He had a point.

Shinji offered the water glass anyway, and I snatched it out of his hand and drank in greedy swallows. I handed back the empty glass and returned to my unpacking. We had the majority of the clothes out of the way, and the rest was stuff that I could handle on my own. The rest of the boxes contained the things that I couldn't wear.

These material things that I had come to cherish.

"Now listen very closely, because I'm only going to say this once." He set the glass down on a shelf and turned his full attention to me. I couldn't help but sound impatient, but I sound that way when I want to be paid attention to. "These next things are my things. You can leave if you want now; I have no use for you."

Shinji looked hurt.

"Let me finish what I was going to say!" I closed one eye and rubbed a temple. He takes things way too seriously. "You can sit there and watch as I put these things away, or you can sit outside my door. Either way, I don't want you talking. Got it? No questions, no comments, no talking unless I talk to you or ask you a question." This way, I can only reveal as much or as little about myself as I want to.

The boy stood there like he didn't know what to do. The reason that he was here was because of that synch training, under normal circumstances he wouldn't come within an inch of this room when I started unpacking my other things. I didn't even know why I was giving him the option to stay or leave.

It was so unlike me.

He decided to stay. Shinji sat down on the bed, crosslegged. I sighed and tore into a box. I lifted the contents, a small library of favorite books I liked to read. One of them was a complete volume of Shakespeare's plays (a friend gave that to me). It might surprise some people, but Sohryu Asuka Langley liked plays.

I don't want that bit of information to get out. Probably ruin my reputation and brand me as a bookworm, which I certainly was not.

I held a book up for Shinji to inspect. "Did you know that Edgar Allan Poe married his cousin when she was in her early teens?" It was always a treat to show off how much I know.

He shook his head. "No. What does it say on the cover?"

"It says 'Tales of the Grotesque and Arabesque'. He liked his horror stories, you know."

"Yeah."

I became a little more casual. "Can you just imagine it? Marrying your own cousin? That's sick, that's so sick I don't even want to think about it. I guess that's not as bad as marrying your sister... or your mom even."

Shinji tilted his head to the side. "Isn't he an American?"

I put those books on top of the nearest shelf. "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know... I was just wondering if you've been to America."

I paused. "I was on an extended trip there. Once." That wasn't entirely a lie, college could be counted as an extended trip, especially if your home is in Germany.

"What's it like? I mean, in America?"

I ripped into another box. It held just one thing, a silver picture frame with no picture. I planned on taking a snapshot of Kaji and me and putting it in there one day, but I never got the chance. Besides, I wasn't really a picture kind of person. Didn't like them. "Hey, I thought I said that only I ask the questions around here."

"Uh... sorry." Shinji looked down.

While he had broken one of my rules, I still wanted to answer him. "America is so dirty and filthy it should be outlawed. People say it's really gone downhill since Second Impact, you know..." I put that pictureless frame next to the books. "... promise me you'll never visit there. Unless you want your _ass_ kicked."

I tossed that box aside. It surprised Shinji to know there was only one thing in most of these boxes when I told him. I decided to answer the question before it came up. "I don't want any of them getting broken or damaged. It makes sense that you use one box per item, doesn't it?"

"It does."

"Of course it does." I opened another box and took out a pair of binoculars and some assorted star gazing stuff. I don't even know why I packed it, and I just tossed them onto a shelf. The next box had my old shampoo and all my toiletries. "Hey, I've been looking for these!"

The comment invited Shinji to ask a question, so he did. I let it slide. "What is it?"

I held up two bottles. "St. Ives. It's my shampoo that you asked about yesterday." I opened the spout of the bottle and smelled it. "No, that other shampoo smells better. I think I'm going to buy it if I ever get out of here." I lifted out a pink towel and washcloth. "Pink was the only color the department store had left, so don't even _try_ to make fun of me."

"I wasn't."

_Yeah right. _

I didn't say anything else during the rest of the unpacking and true to his word, neither did Shinji. I placed a large number of trinkets on my shelves, and I'm sure some of them were just dying to tell their story, but not now, not here. Once I finished, I asked him, "Do you have any underwear you want _me_ to see? C'mon, I showed you mine."

Shinji turned red again. This was far too easy. "N-No..."

"Not only did I show you once, I showed you twice!" I remembered that episode back on the boat. I had to remember to be careful of updrafts. "And I knew you liked it, so lying about not liking it is pointless. You pervert."

"But... the wind... I didn't..."

I took three boxes and threw them outside the room. "You go out there and flatten those boxes. That's my fee for me keeping your company for this past two hours."

Shinji darted outside my room pretty quickly, holding one cheek as if I had slapped him. He ran to the kitchen and brought back a serrated knife. It'd be easier to cut the tape on the bottom of the boxes than pull them off. Smart idea.

"Hey Shinji... you want to make a game out of this?"

"What?"

"I said, do you want to make a game out of this?" If my friends ever found out that I made a game out of cutting cardboard boxes, I'd be the laughingstock of the NERV in Germany .

"Now why do you want to do that?"

I threw a box outside. "Because I'm bored." Dangerous things happen when I'm bored, just like the things that happen to me when it's silent. I think both of those went hand in hand. "I'll throw the boxes outside and you cut them."

"That doesn't sound like much of a game to me."

I poked my head around the corner and pointed at him angrily. "It's a rhythm thing! Full power, maximum performance! Once we get into the rhythm, it'll be a piece of cake."

Shinji sounded skeptical. "That makes sense... we don't have anything better to do..."

"Of course it does!" I turned my attention back to the boxes and got ready to throw. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah."

I started throwing boxes over my shoulder. The first couple I could hear Shinji scrambling to get because they fell short of where he was sitting. Always bump, and then the serrated knife cut through. Rip. Bump. Rip. At first, I was throwing the boxes every eight seconds, then as my arms began to get the hang of throwing over my head, the time became less and less.

Bump. Rip.

Bump. Rip.

Bump. Rip.

I could hear Shinji getting more efficient at the job as well. Sometimes the box would bounce twice on the ground, and sometimes I could hear it slide across the floor. The time from the bump to the rip shortened so much that I was throwing a box every three seconds and we were keeping perfect time. It grew to the point that I didn't even hear the bump on the ground anymore.

Rip.

Rip.

Rip.

"Almost done, Shinji!"

"I know, Asuka!"

I threw the last box over my head and whirled around to watch him. He caught it in his arms and dragged the knife across the underside. He flattened it in one swift movement and tossed it to the side where other flattened boxes were. He looked at me, and we both stared, smiling proudly like we just accomplished the hardest task in the world. We must have looked quite a sight too, a boy with a serrated knife in one hand and a girl sweating like she'd been hauling bricks all day.

I heard someone clap, someone out of my line of sight. "That was wonderful."

"Misato?"

"Misato!" I abandoned my staring with Shinji and rushed out of the room. I was hoping Kaji would be with her again, but he wasn't there. "Geez, where have you been?"

"Watching." Her eyes went from me, and then to Shinji, and then the stack of flattened boxes. "This apartment looks so much cleaner without them."

"Maybe if the apartment was bigger, it wouldn't have looked so cluttered," I retorted.

Misato shrugged. "It's time to start your twister test again. Get that set up so we can work."

The words of death. I didn't want to go through that boot camp again, but when I realized that it was 3:30, I knew that she couldn't possibly hold us as long as she did last time. Besides, if that crazy box game was any indication, we should be getting close to synchronization. I know I couldn't base any conclusion off cutting up a box, but I had nothing else to go on.

"I'm hungry."

Good idea Shinji! Anything to stall for time. "Me too."

Our guardian smiled. "Then let's eat."

*****

We finally started at 4:00. The time seemed to pass quickly, because before I knew it, it was 7:00 in the evening. Time always flies when you're... getting better at what you are doing. I wouldn't say it was like having fun, but I was definitely amused. Our percentage rose from 53% to 86%, all in the span of one day.

I was pleased, but it still wasn't perfect.

"Fourteen points." Misato mumbled. She wrote something down on a sheet of paper. "Okay, that's enough."

We both stopped.

"Take your showers and meet out again on the terrace. And I want you guys to stay out there for the whole hour this time."

That sounded accusatory, so I had to give the reason why. "It was raining outside! We couldn't stay out there in the rain!"

"And why not? Shinji?"

Are you out of your mind? No sane person would follow those orders to stay on the balcony during a hard rain. I looked at Shinji, trying to make sense of the situation. Hey, he'd lived with the woman longer than I had, maybe he could explain some of her odd quirks.

"You disobeyed an order of mine."

"I _ always_ disobey your orders, Misato," I said wryly.

"But those are different. This is an Angel training program, not practice."

"Why are you being so uptight about this? We skipped out twenty minutes in the _rain_!"

Shinji spoke up. "It was me." Two pairs of disbelieving eyes turned to him, half wondering why he bothered to include himself in the conversation. "I... I didn't want anyone to get sick. I told Asuka to go inside and we went to sleep early. It was my fault."

I blinked. Instead of scolding Shinji, Misato did another thing that I didn't understand. She grinned like it was the happiest moment of her life. She got up and didn't say another word as she strode to the door and closed it behind her.

A silence ensued.

"Now... do you understand what just happened?"

"I have no idea."

I turned to him, confused. "So... we're going to be living with her?" I started to question her sanity. I knew Misato from before, but she wasn't nearly this weird. 

He shrugged and started to say something, but Misato came back into the apartment holding Pen Pen. "Okay Shinji, Asuka. You move your futons to this room right here. Shinji, you go find me a futon as well..."

"... okay..."

"And Asuka, you can find me a pillow and a blanket..."

I crossed my arms. I wasn't to be ordered around like some common maid! "... can't you find them yourself?"

Misato ignored my comment and smiled at Pen Pen. "We're going to sleep together like a happy family!"

Oh Lord.

Misato and I stared at each other for a long time. "Why are you sleeping here? Why tonight?"

Misato waved her hand up and down. "It's alright Asuka, I just want to make sure that your first night sleeping in the same room won't lead to something you'll regret in the morning."

"What?!"

She smiled. "Just kidding." Misato jerked her head over to where Shinji was trying to yank a futon out of a closet. "Go to the terrace with Shinji. I'll take care of our bedding."

*****

Another hour. A whole hour. It didn't seem so long, now that I think about it. I must have been in a really, really good mood, because I sacrificed half of the bench so that Shinji could lie down and look at the sky with me. Unlike last night, the stars were easily visible and the moon washed its pale glow over everything.

I think we must have sat there for at least half an hour, listening to one another breathe and watching the stars trail across the sky. I felt oddly content. 

_Yes, content. _

I could tell there was a massive slowdown in the way I breathed. His might have sped up, who knows? We were even breathing in synchronization.

"Asuka?"

"Yeah?"

He paused. "Do you... like it here in Japan?"

I had to think a while before answering that. "So far, I don't like it too well. Japanese people are so confusing to me. They say one thing and mean another... they hide their emotions, and their towels are scratchy."

"I noticed they don't wash them too well, either." Shinji put an arm behind his head.

"And they're so flimsy that you practically have to use the whole stack before drying off. Damn NERV, they have unlimited monetary supplies and they can't even afford decent rags."

Shinji might have laughed, I don't know. I put my hands on my stomach and turned my head upwards towards his. His hair smelled like mine. "Shinji?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't think you're going to get this from me every night."

"What?"

I grinned at the sky, making positively sure he heard me. "After all, most men would give their right leg for the opportunity to go sky gazing with Sohryu Asuka Langley."

"I don't doubt that, either."

The remark was more of a gentle tease and not a direct assault like my earlier taunts. It was meant in good nature, and I think he noticed that. And whatever remainder of the time we had left, we spent saying absolutely nothing. They say that silence speaks louder than words.

I think I finally understand the meaning of that.

When Misato finally came out, neither of us came in right away. Sad to say, and even sadder to admit, I didn't want to leave. 

Was it something in the chocolate chip pancakes I ate this morning?

"Asuka... let's go." Shinji sat up and stayed on the side of the bench for a second before standing. I didn't move. I wanted to be snappy and come back with some sort of retort, but I couldn't think of anything. And the thought of being bitchy repulsed me right now. Why ruin a good moment?

"Shinji?"

He looked down at me. "Yeah?" 

The light of the moon bounced off his hair but at the same time shrouded his face in shadow. It struck me of how handsome he was, in a very innocent kind of way. I shook my head, both wondering at where my mind was going and also forgetting what I was going to say to him. "Nothing. Forget I said anything."

I hoped I wasn't appearing too soft. I've tested his sense of humor, his honor, his gallantry, and his determination. His patience and loyalty have been especially outstanding. I have one more test left, the one that determines where you are placed in my eyes. It's the hardest one of all, one that no boy or man has passed before, except for one. Kaji was the only one, would Ikari Shinji fit the same mold?

The test of being able to resist and the courage to pull back.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: 

*dodges hundreds of pens* Being a *gasp* secret romantic at heart (though I'll deny it), I just had to throw in a bit of what I _thought_ was IC waff. I'm a firm believer in my opinion that Evangelion really doesn't have any romance whatsoever in it, but is more of a maturing of mind and body by all the characters. No matter how much I love Shinji/Asuka, it's not going to lead to romance. Not yet ^_^


	6. Chapter Six

********* 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

The biggest headache that I've ever had the displeasure of having manifested itself in my throbbing temples this morning. As soon as I woke up, I felt like my head had been lodged between a vice and I had been thrown out of a ten-story building.

"Ugh..."

As usual, Shinji was up and ready to go, I could smell breakfast in the air. I opened my eyes and my pupils caught on fire. Misato was sleeping in the futon next to me, snoring softly and sleeping with her appendages splayed in all directions.

Weakly, I raised my arm and swiped at Misato's futon. "Hey... get up..." She snorted once, but made no other sign. I tried again with a little bit more force. "Hey! Get up... you slept in the past two days..." She swatted my hand away and put a pillow over her head.

I know which battles I can't win.

I stood up and nearly dragged myself to the bathroom. Above the hissing of eggs I could hear Shinji humming. The jerk. Damn his morning... morningness.

By the time I realized morningness wasn't a word, I was already sitting at the table, yawning so much my tonsils almost fell out. He was listening to his SDAT player while flipping the eggs. I was right about the tape inside probably being boring symphony stuff, I recognized the tune he was humming as one of Beethoven's Brandenburg concertos.

They played those so many times in Germany ... well, at least he had good taste.

"Hey Shinji?"

He kept on humming.

"Hey idiot!"

Shinji finally acknowledged my existence and took off his earplugs. "What is it?"

"Uh..." Shit. I just wanted him to know that I was here, that's all. I didn't really plan to say anything. Improvise Asuka! "You know, my hometown plays all those Beethoven things so many times I think I'll explode. Stop humming already, or if you're going to hum, then do it in tune."

Shinji put down his spatula and left the eggs to their sizzling. "You knew what I was humming?"

"Of course I do! Not only do I know everything there is to know about Beethoven, but all those bigwig German composers." I raised an eyebrow. "Bach, Handel, Mozart, Wagner, you name it."

Shinji took the frying pan off the heat and held it over a plate in front of me. The heat radiated from it and I was afraid the grease would fly on me, but the contents of the pan landed cleanly on my plate without splattering. "Do you want to listen to it while you eat?"

The sincerity of the question touched me and struck a nerve that I didn't know I had. I set my fork down and glanced at Shinji. I'd really like it, listening to my country's music. However, I was afraid of turning nostalgic and saying something that I didn't mean. "No."

"Oh."

I scooped the eggs into my mouth. "I'm tired of hearing of that stuff, you know. We can listen to it later, and you can hear my music which is considerably better."

Today was just a finishing of our synch training. We went immediately to the twister test and scored a 92% at our highest. Still eight points short. Misato had us eat lunch, which consisted of buckwheat noodles and a glass of milk. I never would think the two would go together.

"You three even eat alike," Misato remarked. The third she was referring to was Pen Pen, who seemed to want to take an active role in our synchronization.

After lunch, neither of us wanted to do that twister thing again until later in the day. Instead, we did laundry. Yes, laundry. I never thought I could stoop so low. However, I did it anyway to bridge the eight-point gap that we still needed to close. If it took a day of doing mindless chores to destroy this Angel, then so be it.

"Put the whites on a cold setting and the colors on warm."

And so on. We washed them and hung them up to dry, Shinji throwing me the clothes and me hanging them on the wire. It seems that our box game evolved into a laundry game too. Our rhythm developed almost as soon as he threw the first article of clothing, which happened to be one of my bras.

"What do you want to listen to first? No... let me guess... something by Liszt? Tchaikovsky's "Waltz of the Flowers"?"

Shinji blinked. "Do you?"

We did. Though I wouldn't let him get away with making me listen to classical music (and me actually liking it), so I popped a cassette in with what happened to be my favorite German band, "Ewigkeit". Shinji had two identical cassettes, that's how we listened to his Vivaldi tape on separate SDATs, but I only had one cassette. I gave him an earplug and kept one for myself. I was considering giving him both of the since I'd heard all those songs so many times before, but I'll admit I am selfish.

"Smile!" Misato took a picture of us underneath our underwear, tapping our fingers to the beat of the lead guitarist's screaming overdrive. I tried to snatch that photograph from her, but she promised she wouldn't show a soul. "Just everyone at NERV. After all, most of them don't have souls."

Music links two souls together, and although my taste was worlds apart from Shinji's, I actually liked getting back to my roots. And although he looked at me kind of funny after listening to a song and saying that his eardrums were ringing, I think he liked it. "Don't make me listen to it again, all right?"

"Same thing here."

When we went back inside, I was greeted with the second biggest surprise of my life.

"Asuka!"

The class rep was standing inside, yanking the ear of one of Shinji's two friends. The most annoying lout of the three stooges. "Hey! It's not my fault she's the devil..."

My glare shot over to Misato. They were here again? She was parading us like circus animals.

Once Hikari let go of Touji's ear, he came over and slapped Shinji on the back, effectively separating the two of us. He whispered something in his ear, to which Shinji shook his head. It must be something about me.

"Shut up stooge," I growled. As if controlled by some unseen force, I stepped onto the twister mat and threw daggers at Touji. That was enough to send him scuttling back to his miserable friend and conspiring against me. "If you have the nerve to talk about me, then you must have balls enough to say it out loud."

Misato held her hands up. "Let's start the synch training."

I looked at Shinji. "Remember Shinji, full power, maximum performance."

"I know that," he replied. "We'll finish in forty-six seconds."

The occupants of the room disappeared in my mind, and all I saw were red circles. Red targets waiting to be pounced on. The honor was given to Pen Pen; he flipped the switch, and we began.

This is the effort of three days. This is what I am capable of, and I can do even more than this. I've turned a timid little boy into a commander and even found something out about myself in the process. I was actually going to _like_ staying here with Misato, Pen Pen, and the Third Child.

What about my test for Shinji? I haven't met a guy who made it this far with me, and since this was a once in a lifetime chance to test it, I wanted to do it. I didn't know whether or not to go through with that, it'd force me to remember some terrible things that I would rather not—

"Shit!" I exclaimed.

Synch ratio: 99%. The room went silent as an Eva in stasis after the twister machine announced the ratio and beeped once before shutting off. Everyone was looking at me, and I knew exactly why. While Shinji's hand landed on a lighted circle, mine did not.

The last second to go, and I choked.

Our three visitors were watching us, not wondering what we would say next and fearing to open their mouths. Even the idiot stooge kept his words to himself. Misato blinked there rather stupidly, mirroring what I was feeling inside.

Sohryu Asuka Langley made a mistake.

"Uh... I..."

"Let's do it again."

The command broke the silence so suddenly that all of our eyes went over to Shinji, not believing what he said. Upon seeing all eyes were on him, he coughed weakly and put his hand behind his head. "I should have been paying more attention. If I had been really synched, I would have landed on the same unlightened circle."

Everyone stared.

"Let's do it again," he repeated.

Pen Pen flipped the switch again, and the circles started flashing. I didn't let my mind wander this time, because all I could think about was how much of a fool Shinji made of me. It was perfectly clear who did the mistake, and he seemed to draw attention to it by blaming it on himself.

I was determined to get a perfect score now, more than ever. I can't wait until I can start to be my own person again.

Once the countdown started, we never lost that mental link. As a final flourish, I put my arm out to steady myself from falling over backward and straightened up. Shinji did the same.

Synch ratio: 100%.

Pen Pen flapped his wings and squealed while Misato, Hikari, and Kensuke clapped. Touji did none of the above but cross his arms and nod to himself.

"Ha!" I put my shoulders on my hips and stood like a queen. "You thought we couldn't do it, but once again, I proved you all _wrong_!"

"Congratulations, Asuka! Shinji!"

Shinji receded into the background and took the applause somewhat awkwardly. "T-Thank you."

Without ceremony, everyone got up and left rather quickly, like they were trying to see who would be the first one out. The two boys went first, but not before giving us a thumbs up. I stuck my tongue out at them. Hikari went next and said congratulations again. After Hikari had closed the door, we turned to look at Misato. She was still clapping.

"I knew you guys could do it."

"Yeah, I knew I could," I said haughtily.

"Thank you." Shinji bowed.

She took her papers in her hand and stood up. Giving us a small salute, she walked over to the door. "Now whatever you do, keep that bond. Don't lose it."

"We won't," we both assured her.

"And you'll be sleeping in the living room together, alone. So don't do anything stupid, all right."

"Go away already!"

"M-Misato!"

Misato closed the door, and we found ourselves looking at each other blankly. Once I saw his face, I became angry again. Even though the goal was reached, there was no escaping he made an idiot out of me, unintentionally or otherwise. I was going through with this test now.

"Congratulations, Asuka."

Unfortunately, the only way that this test would work was to let out my anger and become 100% Asuka again. "Shut up, Third," I growled.

Shinji was so taken aback by my response that he stepped back. "Asuka?"

No way was I going to forgive him. That was totally unacceptable for him to do such a thing. I thought Japanese were very subtle and were able to pick up such things, but apparently I was mistaken. "I'm taking a shower now." I said coldly. The time was now 5:00. "And stop looking at me like that already."

Time to put my plan into action.

I stormed out of the room, but not before something on the floor caught my eye. It was slightly underneath the table where Hikari and the stooges were sitting. Curious, I bent over to pick it up. Misato must have left it behind, it had a NERV logo imprinted into the plastic. It was a disk, and the label was written in a sloppy yet flowery handwriting that I had seen many times before.

I walked out of the room, knowing I was leaving a dumbstruck Shinji behind. "To My... something..." I whispered. I didn't completely understand what it said on the label, but I quickly understood the heart.

Kaji wrote it.

*****

_I don't believe... _

I popped the disk into a computer that happened to be lying around the Katsuragi apartment. Seems she had an endless supply of these things, being the Operations Director. Once I put in the disk and the disk came up, I think my heart broke in two.

The salutation was in English, and the only part that I understood without the help of an internet translator.

_To My Dearest Honey. _

"Asuka, are you in there?"

"Yes already!" I spat out through a mouthful of water. "Doesn't the shower running tell you this?!"

Never interrupt me when I am thinking.

I wrung my hair out, the shampoo and water hitting the floor with a loud slap. How could Misato do this to me? More importantly, how could Kaji? I had passed sadness with crying a long time ago already, now I felt so many emotions I didn't know which one to start with.

Kaji suggested it. It was all Kaji's idea. It was his idea to pair Shinji and I together. His idea to have me live here. His idea to toss me aside once he was done with me.

I knew that I couldn't win this from the very first moment I laid eyes on him. He had a sadness in his eyes that told me he had been hurt before, crushed almost. When he repeatedly rejected my advances, I knew that sadness had to be linked to a woman. Despite all my urgings, he would not tell me her name.

Then I saw the way his eyes flashed on the UN carrier.

Why was I so resolute in not wanting to stay with Misato? Because if Kaji visited, I wouldn't know if he was coming to see me or her. I'd rather live alone than be subjected to that.

"I'm coming out, so don't look at me."

"F-Fine."

_ I'm tired of being alone. _

After I came back from college, I first saw Kaji roaming the halls of the German branch of NERV. I didn't know who he was and I hadn't seen him before, so I was instantly suspicious. What attracted me to him? Well, that's an easy question to answer, because it certainly wasn't looks. He was scruffy, unkempt, and I'm sure mothers all over the world would say that "Stay away from that boy."

_Mothers would? _

He said that I should stop glaring at him. I narrowed my eyes and said that this was a restricted area and he should get the hell out before I smash him with my Eva. When he didn't appear to understand what I was saying, I said in Japanese that he was an ugly man. Then to my surprise, he replied in Japanese that he was ugly because God had given all the beauty to me.

I was hooked instantly.

Misato would agree, it wasn't looks. It was charisma, charm, that certain _something_ that a real man exudes when he looks women in the eye. Boys don't have this; I've already searched long and far. Even in college, the idiots were after just one thing anyways.

I tacked Ikari Shinji as just another one of these wannabe men, and my opinion would stay that way until I could find out for sure. Thus, my tests. Most of the time, I already knew what separated a boy from a man and I didn't have to give tests. But Shinji... he was a mystery. He had traits of both, like a wisdom beyond his years while simultaneously remaining oblivious to his surroundings. No man would blush at the comments I make, yet at the slightest suggestion his face would burn like a match. However, he was hardened in a way that I couldn't quite put my finger on...

_Tonight I'll know. _

Grabbing two towels, I hurriedly wrapped one around me and used another to dry my hair. I stepped out of the shower, flooding the bathroom with herbal shampoo scent and heralding my appearance. "Where is Misato?" I asked.

"Late night job on the phone. She won't be back."

Misato won't be back? Meaning... she'll be at NERV, meaning there was no one manning the cameras next door. Meaning...

"This is perfect," I said quietly.

Your final test, Ikari Shinji.

*****

He showered, got dressed, and put on his headphones immediately afterwards. Seems that he was only willing to get rid of those up until we got synchronized, now he was retreating back into his shell. I carefully rolled out my bedding on the other side of the room. Luckily, there was a door I could slide shut. I figured that we were already synchronized, and no one was watching, so what was the point of sleeping right next to each other?

With one hand on the door, I growled menacingly, "Take one step over this door, and you'll be a _dead_ man. It's time for the children to go to sleep now!" I slammed it shut and repeated that Japanese were so stupid, sleeping on the floor like animals. Then he turned off the light.

I gave Shinji the room closest to the bathroom. Actually, I didn't give the room to him, I kicked him out of _my_ section. His room was the closest to the bathroom because that area played an important role in the test I was about to give. I placed the two neural plugs beside my pillow where I would remember to see them in the morning. Hopefully.

"Asuka... why are you doing this?" I asked myself. I didn't really expect an answer.

Why _am_ I doing this, anyways? I had plenty of reasons to justify myself. The first and least important one was that we were both Evangelion pilots. If I was going to risk my life to save others, I had sure as hell better have a person I could trust defending me and watching my back. I admitted to myself that this was a bit extreme for trust, but you can't half trust a person. Maybe other can, but Sohryu Asuka Langley can't. Not when my life is in danger.

The second reason was to satisfy my own curiosity. A sort of experiment with the human psyche, if you want to call it that. In a gem of a class called "Sociology" in college, after performing tests all day long on unsuspecting passerby, we came up with the same conclusion. Humans are fickle, but when it comes to two things, they always act the same.

Those two were money and sex.

One experiment involved putting twenty dollars in a toilet with a piece of plastic that looked like feces. Time after time, men or female, they would always retrieve it. One fellow even tried to fish it out with a coat hanger. We slowly worked our way down from twenty, to ten, and finally to five. And yet the people were _still_ trying to get that money.

Our class came to the conclusion that people as a collective were greedy.

A sex experiment involved the most beautiful girl in the class (me of course) pretending to be stranded without gas on a deserted road. Every single male driver stopped for me. No, I'm not exaggerating when I say _every_ _single_ _one_ of them. A couple women even stopped.

Two days later, we tried the same experiment, only with one difference: I'd be wearing a sweatsuit and a baseball cap. I had to tuck all my hair into that cap, and it was prickling my ears all day. Anyways, a couple sporadic people stopped, but not with the same volume as the previous two days. I stumbled on our conclusion when I took the cap off just as a car sped by.

The hair spilled over my shoulders and I instantly heard the squealing of tires. The sea blue Ford pickup raced backwards and braked in front of me, spinning gravel and debris. "Hey honey, looking for a good time?" The owner was a lazy eyed man with a boil on his lip. How in the world do you get a boil on your lip?

Our class came to the conclusion that people were horny, willing to satisfy sexual pleasures first before worrying about heroism.

That was my second reason. I really enjoyed that class. We proved that the old maxim did not apply here: "We're all the same in that we're all unique." It should be: "We're all the same in that we're all unique, except when it comes to horniness and gluttony.

My third reason sort of ties in with my first. I like to think of myself as a distinctive person. You don't see someone like me roaming around just anywhere. I test people's patience a lot, I'll admit. Sometimes I wonder why I can stand _myself_. This being said, I make many enemies. Many of the enemies I make would take any chance to hurt me. If Shinji passes this test, I know he isn't my enemy. And I know that he can stand me for who I pretend to be.

_And my fourth reason... _

I waited, silently, not even daring to think for fear I'd divulge something. Since we were so synchronized, did that mean we could read each others thoughts? I really hoped not.

_Asuka, let's go. _

I could still hear music playing very faintly through the partition. He was still awake. I stood up and took one deep breath. In one jerky movement, I threw the door open and let my eyes open slightly. I saw Shinji, pretending to be asleep. I _knew_ he was pretending; you know after going through this kind of training.

I walked to the bathroom and gazed at the toilet. I didn't have to go at all, but I still had to pretend I did. The bowl slurped up its contents like a porcelain maelstrom. Once I shut off the light, I could spy Shinji, still "sleeping".

It was all or nothing.

I knew I could have easily gone back to my futon and went to sleep. I knew I could have turned back. No one was forcing me to do anything, but yet... when would I ever have this chance again? If Shinji did fail, what would I do? Trust Ayanami Rei in combat against Angels? Idolize Kaji even more? What would it do to our synch scores?

I didn't want to think about it. A small part of me _knew_ he would make it, but it did nothing to overturn the majority of me that knew he wouldn't.

Taking premeditated steps, I marched to Shinji's futon. He had his eyes closed, the faker. That small part of me now wasn't so sure that he'd make it. I dropped from my standing height to lying down, and it would have hurt like hell if I didn't know exactly how to land.

His pillow smells like shampoo.

He gasped, and in doing so must have hit the backwards button on his SDAT, because I then heard a nonsensical jumble of noises. I cracked my eyes open slightly and noticed that he was staring straight at my chest. That small part of me just got blown to bits by the majority with chants of "I told you so!"

I had to stop myself from walking back to my futon. The sensible side of me argued that he was a typical male, any boy or man would do that under the circumstances. Give him another chance.

I stirred and parted my lips. His attention turned from my breasts to my face, which was what I wanted him to do. Shinji looked at me for the longest time. I couldn't see anything, but I knew he was staring at me, trying to decide what to do. The test consisted of three outcomes: either he'd try to kiss me, he'd try to grope me, or he would wake me up and direct me to my futon.

To my dismay, he went with the first option. My first kiss would be taken by a boy I had only met five days ago. 

I had a plan though, as I always did. It still wasn't too late, and I didn't want to give up just yet. That Sociology class found out that people were willing to sacrifice their immediate pleasures when their conscience stopped them.

_And my fourth reason... _

I was sick of people referring to me as a child and treating me as such. It was this desire to grow up that sent me to college early. I condoned people who were immature, and didn't bother to hide my annoyance with such people, dismissing them as "children". My mother died when I was very young, leaving me in the care of my stepmother and real father. My stepmother didn't really care about me, and without a primary female rolemodel, I grew up rather quickly. 

My mother... my mother died of circumstances that I don't want to remember. What does it matter now, she's dead. I didn't want to sound coldhearted, but talking about things won't solve the problem. My life had gone too far ahead and my future lay in front of me. I don't like reminiscing about old times, they were all too painful to remember.

I never became tired of being an adult... but at times I still longed to be a child. I would look into the night sky and wonder, where would I be right now if I didn't grow up so quickly? Where would I be if I wasn't an Evangelion pilot? Where would I be... if mama never died?

_And my fourth reason is... _

The scent of Shinji's hair and his heat drew closer and closer to my face. I didn't pull away, instead feeling myself trapped in a pocket of time, unable to pull away.

_ Where would I be if mama never died? _

I never really wanted the life that I was now leading. Being an adult had so many responsibilities. Not that I couldn't handle them, but I also missed the carefree days of being a child and staring at things with breathless wonder. Now whenever something fascinated me, I had to pretend not to care.

Now I had to be heartless, pretending I wasn't hurt when someone threw an insult at me. Even compliments from people felt hollow, this wasn't really me. It was only a shell of me with something buried inside, desperate for freedom. I was slowly killing myself... and I don't want to die.

I miss my inner child. 

I miss my freedom.

But most of all, I miss my mother.

"Ma... ma..." I whispered hoarsely. "Mama..."

To my horror, I felt tears well up in my eyes and get caught in my eyelashes. It took every bit of me to keep from sobbing. I only planned to call out her name, but this was... this was too much.

Mere millimeters from my lips, Ikari Shinji stopped his own.

Shinji must have held that position for what seemed like hours. If he had advanced any further, I would have burst out crying. I sniffled once, not being able to help myself. The heat instantly withdrew from my face and the dominant scent of chamomile lessened.

_ He's backing away. _

I felt Shinji sit up on the futon, pause, and then stand up. I heard a shuffle on the other side of the room behind me, and then a rustling.

_What is he... what is he doing? _

Once I composed and scolded myself for getting out of control, I flipped over and saw exactly what Shinji had done. He transferred himself to my bed and gave this one to me. I cracked my eyes open, but they were still blurry with tears. But I didn't have to see him to hear what he said next.

"You're just a child yourself." He threw the blankets over his head and didn't come back out for the remainder of the night.

Finally. After all this time... someone finally understood _me_. It takes a special person to see behind the mask, the mask I show to others. The one I've been wearing for every day of my life. I didn't want someone who saw the arrogance or the superiority. I wanted them to look past the beauty and see the birthmark. The scar. The blemish. 

Not the child who pretended to be an adult, but the adult that ached to be a child.

Congratulations Ikari Shinji. You are not a coward, because any coward would have gone ahead and kissed me regardless of my emotions. You defied the odds and my own thinking. Maybe I didn't have to give you a spine after all.

_You had one all along. A complete one, and not just fragments of it. _

A sliver of moonlight pierced the room and shone on a piece of tacked up paper, one by the bathroom door. It was too far away for me to see, but I already knew what it said. I had circled it myself. In big bold letters: 

**Tomorrow is D-Day. **

I never slept with a smile on my face before until now. 

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: One more chapter to go. 


	7. Chapter Seven/Epilogue

Enjoy.

********* 

**To My Dearest Honey**_  
_By: Karina Kineshi (coronaflare@mail.com) 

**Today is D-Day. **

As soon as I woke up, Misato whirled us into her beaten up car and spirited us to NERV headquarters. I think we were about halfway there before I realized that I wasn't in my futon anymore. Misato chattered on and on about something I didn't care to listen to, like she had drunk an undue amount of coffee this morning.

In the car, I readjusted my eyes to the light and saw Shinji sitting in the front seat. I had the back all to myself and was lying down. Once I saw that we had gone into the tunnel leading to headquarters, I sat up. "How much time do we have to defeat this Angel?"

Shinji jumped in his seat as if a firecracker had gone off next to his ear. He turned around and stared at me. "Good morning, Asuka," he finally said. Then he turned back and faced the front.

"You too..." I didn't know what to say.

"Actually," Misato corrected, "It's a great afternoon." We careened to avoid a slower Toyota .

"Afternoon!" If I wasn't awake before, I was awake now. "Already?!"

Misato nodded, driving the car in excess of 70 MPH. I didn't want her to talk anymore, it was like driving and talking were in the same area of the brain. If she did one, she couldn't do the other. I would prefer to have my body extracted from the remains of my Eva than charred to a crisp in Misato's hunk of junk.

"Yes... I couldn't wake you up yet because I wanted to see if you were truly synchronized. Neither of you woke up at 7:00 ... and you both finally opened your eyes within five minutes of each other." She looked at her watch and I felt the car losing control. "That was eight minutes ago. Shinji opened his eyes and woke up, but you opened your eyes and went back to sleep."

Shinji turned around and admitted that they carried me to the car. I couldn't believe they could do that and I didn't feel anything... or even resist. I screamed at him, saying my neural plugs were beside the futon. I threatened to dismember him if he left those behind. He stammered that he picked them up and held them out in his hand. "H-Here."

I snatched them and slid them in my hair. "Do you need a brush, Asuka?"

"And what's the supposed to mean, Misato?!" I asked, insulted.

"Nothing."

Once we got to headquarters, Ritsuko informed us that the Angel was starting to stir. Within an hour, it would be fully mobile. She told us that we could take this hour to synchronize and "do whatever it is you do". She steered us to the locker room as if we didn't know where it was. Then Ritsuko left us there, plugsuits in hand and staring blankly after her.

_Now... what just happened? _

I glared at Shinji's duffel bag. "You know, if you woke me up instead of hauling me to the car like a sack of potatoes, I could have gotten my duffel bag too."

"Uh, sorry..."

"Look at me!" I commanded. He did so, but then he started to blush. I was dressed in my sleeping clothes, certainly not tasteful attire to wear outside. "You paraded me throughout all of Tokyo-3 looking like this!"

"I already said I'm sorry!"

I teased him. "Say, did you like touching me when you put me on the backseat of the car? Were you the one who insisted on it?"

"N-No!" he exclaimed. "Misato told me to put you in there!"

"Oh..." I nudged him. "Then you didn't complain, did you? Did you?!"

I was determined to make it hard on him, but not too hard. When he didn't answer, I shoved him to the curtain separating the two locker rooms. "And let that be the last time you ever step in our room!"

"Sorry! Ritsuko put me in there, you know!"

"Whatever." I waved my hand although I knew he couldn't see it and started to take off what little clothing I had. "Just think about what we're going to do, okay?"

"Fine."

We took quite some time getting into our plugsuits, during which neither of us said a word. The only sounds I could hear were breathing in my head and the rubber squeaking of the suits as it rubbed against my skin. Once, I heard Shinji unzip his bag.

"You know, if you would have woken me up sooner, I could have packed some shampoo and a towel." I looked over my clothing with aversion. I hope Misato had some extra clothes or something in her trunk, because I wasn't leaving here wearing my bedclothes.

Shinji's shadow was by the curtain again, giving me an odd feeling of déjà vu. I trusted him that he wouldn't just throw open the curtain to ogle at me. I sighed. "That damn yellow liquid dries in my hair and makes it crusty. Stupid Shinji."

He didn't say he was sorry. Instead, he said that he was going to the cages. Then he disappeared from the curtain. Seeing that my complaining wasn't going to get me anywhere, I rearranged the clips in my hair and walked out.

_ Asuka, let's go. _

On the way there, my heart shattered in two when I saw Kaji walking down the hall. With Misato. She was obviously doing her best to ignore him, but I know that it's impossible to ignore Kaji. Disregarding all the feelings that coursed through me as I saw them, I did the thing I always did.

"Kaji! Hi!!"

I ran up and threw my arms around him. Kaji felt rigid, and then relaxed into my embrace and hugged me back. His arms made me feel so content. "And here's the most beautiful girl in Tokyo-3."

My heart stung. Wasn't I a woman? No wait, I already know who he thinks the most beautiful woman is. I slapped on a cheesy smile although I was crying inside. "Are you going to watch me?"

He smiled. "I'm going to watch both of you."

"By the way, where is Shinji?"

I shrugged at Misato. "He said he was going to the cages already."

She looked at me sternly. "Then you should be up there too."

I told her not to worry about us and that we had it all under control. Kaji slid an arm around Misato's waist and said that she was always so uptight. She shoved him away, but I saw what he didn't. The small nuances a woman had when she enjoyed the attention but didn't want it. They were written all over her face.

"I have to kick some Angel ass. I'll be back soon!"

Kaji waved back at me. "Good luck!"

I turned around and headed to the cages with a shattered heart. I knew that there was no other option than to keep on loving Kaji. To stop abruptly would mean that I made a mistake in the first place, and I don't make mistakes. He would never look at me in the way that lovers do. Was I content with just his hugs and smiles?

_ I would have to be. _

I got up to the first level and looked around for Shinji. There was no sign of him. Evangelion 02's luminous eyes stared down at me, unseeing and lifeless. Then I looked at Shinji's, the test type Evangelion 01. I briefly wondered why all these dolls looked different. Why did the armor look different? Aesthetical reason?

I snorted, there's no way NERV would blow money on making the Evangelions look good.

Someone told me to get in my cockpit already, "You're late!" I grudgingly climbed up the mecha's side and slid into the LCL. I could almost feel my crinkly and unshampooed hair now... but while floating in the liquid, it felt soft and wavy. After closing my eyes to find that burst of fire that was synchronization, the Eva sputtered to life. 

I turned on the commlink and said, "Shinji? Are you there yet?" There was no answer from his Eva. In fact, the cockpit was empty. "Hey!" Didn't he say he was already up here?

Not half a minute later, I saw him submerge himself in LCL and close his eyes. The lights from the Evangelion's activation cast a soft glow on his face. I thought he was sleeping. "Where have you been?"

He opened his eyes and looked at me. "I had—"

Misato's voice immediately overrode his. "The Angel is moving around Sasuga Bay and has reached land. We're sending you up right shortly, so be prepared."

I took in a deep breath. LCL was no substitute for oxygen. For one thing, oxygen didn't smell. For another, too much of it didn't turn your hair lighter.

"Are you ready to do this?" Shinji asked softly.

I gave him a confident smirk. "Of course, we'll beat this thing easily. After all, you're with the best."

"That's right."

A man's voice came over the commlink. "The target has entered the mountains." I could hear assorted voices talking in the background. 

_Damn, this thing was fast... _

We were going to beat this Angel. I wanted to make sure of it. "Just remember Shinji, full power, maximum performance." As the people in Germany would say, I got my drinking contest face on.

"I know that. We'll finish in sixty-two seconds."

I heard the same man's voice again. "The target has entered Ground Zero."

"Detach the external power cables... and launch." The giant countdown materialized over my head and I felt the ground move up from under me. Within seconds, I was flying through the air and looking down at Israfel. The Seventh Angel.

"You take the right!" shouted Shinji. "I've got the left."

Our objective was to keep the force the Angel to separate and come back together again. The computers in Dogma calculated that once it separated and was forced back together again, two blows from two Evas at the same time would knock out both sides, therefore destroying it.

We did a rotation in the air and grabbed our especially designed spears on our backs. "Got it!" Shinji and I threw them down, and the two spears formed an AT field between them. Our aim flew true and it divided the Angel in half just as we crashed to the ground.

"Shinji! Asuka! Get the guns!"

Time flew by rather quickly from there. I remember firing, dodging, twisting, contorting, shooting, doing backflips... when the two halves avoided our bullets, I heard Misato faintly order that a barrage of missiles be fired. Within seconds a vortex or fire slammed into the Angel.

_25 seconds. _

"Now!" we both cried. I started to yell, all the savageness and fury exploding in one long breath. I heard Shinji shout as we spun around and kicked the two halves together.

I grinned in a split second of brief triumph. "Let's finish him off!"

_13 seconds. _

Both Evas catapulted into the air and I had that sensation that I was flying again. On pure instinct, I whirled along side Unit 01, our feet coming together for a final blow. It connected with the two S2 orbs of the Angel with three seconds to go.

With two seconds left, I saw the red globe crack.

_Time's up. _

An explosion that made my ears ring with the fury of all hell swallowed the earth and sent it careening to the sun. I felt something slam into me from my side and I smashed into the ground, knocking all the air out of me as though someone punched me in the stomach.

"Con... tion... Eva... perational..."

Endless day turned into black night as the Eva's power supply finally ran out. We did it! I must have lain there in that cockpit, celebrating on how awesome Shinji and I were to finish off that monstrosity.

_Shinji... and I? _

I gasped. It took a wimpy boy to snap me out of my feelings of superiority?! I lost it already? Well... we'd see about that.

Once I saw Shinji crawling around on the outside of that Eva, I called him up on a telephone. Odd how they put those things on an Eva in the first place... but oh well. I demanded what in the world he was doing on my Unit. He shot back that I was the one who fell on him. I looked down and saw that in fact, my Eva was on top of his.

Well dammit!

"You're the one who lost your timing first! What the hell were you doing, staying up so late last night!"

Of course, I already knew the answer to this. But it wouldn't hurt to have a little bit of fun with him; we were the only ones who knew.

He sputtered. "I... I was image training! Image training for today's battle!"

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. Image training? What a horrible excuse! "You liar... I know you tried to kiss me in my sleep!"

What now, Ikari Shinji? Come up with another weak excuse like image training? Or tell the truth? Or...

"You... you cheated! You were awake?" His voice was one of disbelief.

Yes, I was awake. I know everything, Shinji, but damned if I showed it. "Oh my God!" I screamed. "I was just kidding!! Did you really kiss me in my sleep?!"

I shouldn't have said that. The conversation was being broadcast all over Tokyo-3, and if he admitted that he kissed me (although he didn't), he would go down in history as the only boy that Sohryu Asuka Langley got really close to.

Shinji's voice grew slightly quieter, obviously aware of everyone watching him. "N-No! I... I stopped!" 

Then I let loose a long string of curses and tried to hit him on the head. I didn't think that a hologram could hurt anyone physically, but was I was wrong. I heard laughter in the background, no doubt from the personnel on the bridge. Truth was, although I had a scowl on my face, I was having fun too.

*****

After the laughter died, an airplane carrier picked us up and took us back to headquarters. I refused to look at Shinji, pretending I was still angry. I would act this way for a while, just to salvage my dignity. I don't know what it is about me, but somehow I wanted to make a fool out of him to see how he would deal with that. I thought he learned his lesson on trying to argue with me, but apparently not.

As soon as I stepped off that launch pad, I felt my hair with a scowl. Not only that, but I was cold, I smelled, and my skin felt like it didn't belong on me. I would be looking forward to take a shower but those damn towels...

"Congratulations, pilots. You were excellent."

Shinji and I didn't say anything to Ritsuko's praise. I was going to brag about how wonderful I was, but I decided against it. I wanted to wash myself as soon as possible.

"Shinji! Asuka!" Misato waved at us as she came running down. Despite our smelliness, she took both of us into a giant hug and swept us off our feet. "You guys did so well!"

"T-Thank you..."

"Of course we did."

Even Kaji appeared from behind Misato, giving Shinji a manly shake of the hand and putting his arm around my shoulder. My hair crackled to his touch like brittle fire. "Way to go. But if I were you..." he winked at Shinji, "I would have went on and done it anyways."

I crossed my arms.

_Yeah right. _

I removed Kaji's arm from my shoulder and said sweetly that as much as I liked to be around him, I needed to take a shower. He said that pretty girls should smell good, but I was an exception. I rolled my eyes and walked off with Shinji following close behind me.

I walked into the elevator that would take us to the ground level and stepped inside. Shinji did the same. After everyone congratulating us on our success, there was still one other person to congratulate. 

Each other.

"We did—"

"Hey Shinji—"

The raspy grating of the elevator sliding down its track cut us both short when we tried to talk. We both looked at each other, and then quickly looked away. Why was I acting like such a schoolgirl? "Listen here Third, I hope you won't be taking advantage of me again in my sleep."

I expected an answer, but he gave none. The point was painfully clear that he could have done whatever he wanted, and it was comforting that he didn't gloat over it. We really didn't say anything else until the elevator squealed to a halt and the doors creaked open. Once I stepped outside, he was to go to the left and I was to the right. "By the way, nice job Shinji."

Shinji turned to face me, a curious expression on his face. He blinked, and then smiled at me. "It's because I was with the best."

"Damn straight."

I turned around and confidently sauntered to the locker room; that boy certainly knew how to make me feel important.

Ikari Shinji. The Third Child.

I think he was starting to grow on me. He's a welcome change from all the hounding college boys, I guess. Still, I wouldn't change my outward opinion of him. He'd remain the spineless, cowardly, and inferior to me. But inside... I knew that he had surpassed all my expectations.

_ Congratulations Shinji. _

When I stepped into the locker room, I saw a shadow move behind the partially open curtain. I swear I caught a glance of short brown hair. On the bench where my nightgown was lay a complete change of clothing, neatly folded. Beside it was a familiar pink towel, freshly laundered and soft to the touch. Lying on top, a new, unopened bottle of Misato's shampoo, gleaming amber against the pink.

I looked at the curtain separating the two locker rooms.

And I wondered.

**The End **

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author's notes: This is the fastest I've ever completed a fiction, Rurouni Kenshin or otherwise. I know the idea probably isn't original, but I hope I put a new spin on it. Thank you again to Blue Taboo. Also, thanks to Ghola, Reizig, and Rev'd for reviewing my story and giving me helpful suggestions. I love you guys, but in a purely platonic way, of course =) Lastly, Lord Deathscythe for letting me step foot inside darkscribes.org and making me a Dark Lady. Site is at darkscribes.org The second round of Takoballs voting is up, and there's lots of goodness at the forums and the Fanfic Yakuza reside here, so be off with you and get thee to the site! 

I've grown to like Asuka a lot more than I already did. My next project has already been narrowed down to two ideas, one's an epic and the other is similar to this one. Methinks I'll do the latter first, so expect ol' Karina's name next to a Shinji/Asuka fic sometime in the very near future. 

Until later... keep on writing! 


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